Improve your self-esteem for a healthier you

Jet, May 10, 2004

It's so true, it's almost cliche: For every up in life, there is a down. For every triumph, there is a trial. But the thing that determines your resiliency, and your ability to continue believing in yourself, is your self-esteem.

Having high self-esteem is as essential to your life as breathing. Without it, you could become prone to make bad decisions, to push your loved ones away and to prevent yourself from achieving your goals. The first step to building high self-esteem is to know what it is, and what it is not.

What is Self-Esteem?

High self-esteem is "the immune system of consciousness," according to the National Association for Self-Esteem (NASE). In other words, when adversity comes your way, your self-esteem kicks in to make you feel better.

High self-esteem is not arrogance, egotism, conceit, narcissism or a sense of feeling you are better than those around you. In fact, the NASE says these are usually indicators of low self-esteem, where you try to validate yourself or seek approval from others.

Other factors of low self-esteem are overanalyzing yourself, fearing challenges, avoiding people and social circles, refusing to take risks and talking to yourself negatively.

Which gets to the heart of what the NASE says self-esteem really is: "The experience of being capable of meeting life's challenges and being worthy of happiness."

As this definition suggests, developing high self-esteem is an ongoing process. But with these NASE tips, you could be on your way to a happier, healthier you.

DO use positive affirmations to boost your self-esteem. Write yourself notes on "stickles" that say, "I like myself just the way I am," or "I am somebody," and paste them on mirrors or doors in your house.

DON'T constantly compare yourself to others. The only one you should be competing with is yourself.

DO surround yourself with happy, positive people. As the old saying goes, "Birds of a feather flock together," so make sure your associates aren't the fly-by-night type.

DON'T put yourself down. Even if you just lost your job or the love of your life, there is something positive to be said about you when you're trying to bounce back and handle the situation bravely.

DO make lists of your positive attributes and achievements. Sometimes when hardships arise, by default you tend to regard yourself gloomily. But if you have a list to pull out whenever you feel a case of the "self-pities" coming on, it will be that much easier to realize just how great you really are.