Jennifer Holliday Reveals She Suffered From Depression And Attempted Suicide

Jet, Nov 1, 1999

Famed singer Jennifer Holliday says she has battled severe depression and recently revealed that she once tried to commit suicide.

On ABC's "Good Morning America," the popular performer described the loneliness of being in show business that can trigger depression.

"You go back to your room after thousands of people cheer you and you go back home alone, and there's no one to call to say, `Gee, I did well tonight,'" Holliday said. "And the entertainment business is a lonely life, even though people are so envious of the fame and glamour."

Holliday, who once weighed 330 pounds, said her depression led to overeating. "Eating became my best friend. It became a comfort, a sense of joy. And no rejection from food. Food loves you. Food loves you regardless," she said.

On her 30th birthday she tried to commit suicide, the Grammy Award-winning artist revealed on the talk show.

"I took an overdose of sleeping pills," she said.

"What people don't understand is that depression is a serious illness. And most people have thoughts of suicide for a long time. You think about doing it; you just don't know what day or you got interrupted or don't think that you can be successful with the job."

She added, "If you try to commit suicide and you don't kill yourself, the embarrassment of being exposed and botching the job and having to answer so many questions becomes even more terrifying."

She admitted that it took years before she sought professional help.

"The reason why I took so long is that I was angry for being saved. Because then I was like, 'What am I going to do?` So when they had a doctor talk to me and he said, 'Well, first of all we need to find out why you wanted to take your life, why you are so unhappy?' The first thing I could think about was the weight. I said, `Well if I could lose some of this weight, my life would be so much better; I would be able to function, people would love me, I would look better, and things would go better."

She remembered, "I went to another doctor and got some medical help, lost the weight and still had the problems, still had the issues."

Holliday has since taken control of her life with treatment, and joined forces with the Magic Johnson Foundation, the National Medical Association (NMA) and Pfizer Inc. to promote awareness and understanding of depression in the Black community. About 90 percent of Black Americans do not get treated for depression.

The educational program, Guide To A Healthy Mind for African Americans: A Circle of Hope, is free to consumers and includes a guide book and video that features Holliday, Johnson, NMA representative Dr. Alvin Poussaint, professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, and Dr. Shirley Marks of Lubbock, TX.

Holliday explained on the talk show: "I would say that this is just as well as getting treated for [diabetes], what we call in the African-American community, `sugar.' They get their sugar looked after. This is to get your mind looked after. It is no longer taboo. God wants us to have a healthy mind, and they can find it in the Bible in many places."