Should brides wear white the second time around?

Jet, June 2, 2003 by Marti Yarbrough

Here comes the bride, all dressed in white. But is that the appropriate color to wear if you're making an encore performance down the aisle? Should brides wear white the second time around?

Harriette Cole, author of Jumping the Broom: The African-American Wedding Planner, believes that white is an acceptable color for a repeat bride to wear.

"It used to be considered in bad taste for a bride who's been married previously to wear a white dress, but these days codes and conducts have relaxed quite a bit," explains Cole. "Historically, it used to be that if you got married for the second time that you wore a dinner suit instead of a gown.

"If you are fortunate enough to find the one you believe to be your life partner, even if it takes two tries, you can wear whatever [color] you want. White is still, however, the predominate color choice, whether it's the first or second marriage."

In the best-seller Jumping the Broom, soon to be printed in its third edition, Cole explains that the tradition of the white dress began in 1840 when England's Queen Victoria married Prince Albert. The fashion statement, which symbolized chastity, marked the beginning of the Victorian period and has been imitated in countless variations ever since.

Cole, also the president and creative director of the image and development company Profundities in New York, has been married to her second husband for 10 years. Instead of wearing white during her outdoor wedding, she chose colors that were meaningful to her.

"I wore a gown that was gold and red because I wanted it to look like the sunrise. That's the most beautiful time of day because the sky is so full of light and life," she says. "If I had wanted to wear a suit I would have, but I wanted to wear a gown.

"If you believe that you should follow the traditional rules, by all means do it, but it's not a requirement. Do what you want to do."

Bloomfield, NJ, fashion designer Therez Fleetwood, who specializes in ethnic wedding attire, says that there is no right or Wrong answer to what a bride should wear anymore. It's simply all a matter of personal opinion and personal taste.

"Ninety percent of my clients want some shade of ivory," says Fleetwood. "It warms the complexion of an African-American woman better."

The designer and author of The Afrocentric Bride: A Style Guide, notes that many of the color favorites for a second and even a first-time bride include eggshell, ivory, ecru, beige or natural tones and rum pink.

"[Women] are getting bolder. Now and then I'll get someone who wants a bold color like orange or gold, which has become very popular. Stark white is not as popular."

Whether it's the bride's first, second or third marriage, Fleetwood says that the important thing is that a woman looks her best and finds a silhouette that's going to complement her figure.

"Twenty percent of my clientele are second-time brides who are older, so their focus is a little different," says Fleetwood. "They usually want something they can possibly wear again. Something they may wear to church. Moving away from the color white and going toward ivory.

"[Many] of them order a two-piece dressing which is usually a suit; a jacket or a bustier top with a long skirt with some kind of train extension."

Diann Valentine, event planner and wedding consultant to the stars, agrees with the other experts stating that the decision to wear white the second time around is completely up to the bride.

"Women should not be limited to fall in a box of what tradition says a second bride should wear. Your wedding dress is a personal choice; it's also a fashion statement," says Valentine, whose clientele A-list includes Toni Braxton, Lela Rochon and Chante Moore.

Valentine, president of D. R. Valentine & Associates, Inc. in Pasadena, CA, admits that she is not a wedding planner who follows the rules written by society.

"I'm not real big on tradition because I don't think that those traditions have been established for or by people of African descent. We're often adopting traditions of Western civilization that don't necessarily apply to us."

She suggests that the woman who's been there and done that opt for a dress that is sophisticated and couture instead of a traditional wedding gown. "I encourage [brides-to-be] to go for colors that complement their skin tone such as gold, champagne and platinum.

"When Natalie Cole was married [for the third time] she wore a beautiful platinum silver, beaded sheath gown that was sophisticated and very elegant, and she still looked like a bride."

According to Valentine, the second-time bride who chooses to wear white is often the woman who felt cheated in her first wedding experience.

"I think they do it because when they marry young they're at a time in their lives where they're pretty unsure of themselves and aren't as financially stable or set in their careers," explains Valentine. "If they marry a second time they are probably in a better position to have that wedding they always dreamed of, but couldn't afford the first time. If she really wants it, she's going to do it.