Tact and tenderness are key when talking to teens about weight

Jet, July 14, 2003

Every teen wants to be popular. Attractive. Fit in. We try hard to teach our kids that designer jeans, bling-bling jewelry and the body of Beyonce or Tyrese doesn't prove one's true worth; what matters most is on the inside. However, in the world of the adolescent, superficial stuff does matter. A lot.

Body image is a big deal for teens. It's also a big deal for most adults. More than half of all American adults are overweight or obese, and our preoccupation with getting thin has turned the diet and fitness industry into a multibillion dollar-a-year business.

Unfortunately, our weight issues are spreading to our daughters and sons. Today, nearly twice as many children and three times as many teens are overweight as there were in 1980, according to recent data from the 1999-2000 National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey. Poor nutritional habits, eating disorders and an unhealthy fixation on dieting are also on the rise among youth.

Additionally, Black teens are far-more likely to carry extra pounds than Whites, putting them at higher risk for obesity-linked conditions like diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure and stroke.

As a parent, you naturally want your teens to maintain a healthy weight and a healthy self-image. Yet finding the right words to say about a sensitive subject like size can be a challenge. The following tips can help you tackle the topic:

* Open up. Encourage your teens to share concerns about their bodies. Reassure them that you love them, but you want to help them deal with their weight issues.

* Be sensitive. Teasing, nagging and harassing teens about their appearance can make a problem even worse, so don't even go there.

* Develop teens' self-esteem. Play up the great things about your teen. Praise their efforts as well as their successes. Tell them how proud they make you feel.

* Make small changes. Keep junk food in your home to a minimum. Stock up with healthy items like fruits and raw veggies, yogurt and cereal. Prepare less fried and more baked and broiled dishes. Serve smaller portions; offer seconds only if your teen is still hungry.

* Encourage healthy activities. Involve your teens in athletics and hobbies focusing on fitness. Look for activities the entire family will enjoy.

* Teach your teen to cope with peer pressure. Help your teen understand that the world is made up of all types of people and everyone can't look like a supermodel. Remind them that real friends will accept them regardless of their size.