The metrosexual male: what sisters really think of them

Jet, Feb 23, 2004 by Marti Yarbrough

Some women love him and some don't. He's the Brother who's always dressed to impress and is well groomed from the top of his head to the soles of his feet. He's a man's man who enjoys frequenting the theater and museums if his time permits. This same Brother can be spotted at the spa or salon pampering himself with a massage, facial, manicure or pedicure. And even on his bummiest days he still smells good--and looks even better.

Almost every generation has seen the likes of him. Back in the day he was smooth and dapper like actor Billy Dee Williams and women simply referred to him as Urine." Today he is like the ever-so-clean, hip-hop music mogul Sean "P. Diddy" Combs and the new term used to describe him is "metrosexual." A loose definition describes this modern man as one who lives in or within reach of a metropolitan area with the best shops, gyms, clubs and salons to cater to his lavish wants and needs.

JET asked Sisters across the country to sound off on what they really think about the aesthetically savvy metrosexual male.

"In my line of work I seem to be surrounded by them. I'm all about image, so I love [them]," says Dawn Haynes, CEO of the image agency Dawn to Dusk located in Beverly Hills, CA. "I only hope that they spend the same amount of time developing their spirit. Ultimately, that is what shines and attracts the right mate."

The 30-something stylist to the adds, "I think a more appropriate should be the 'me-sexual' because dudes are so into self."

The term metrosexual was coined in 1994 by writer Mark Simpson, who used the term in an article written for the British newspaper the Independent. Now the buzzword is being used in the U.S. and internationally to describe the young male of the new millennium who is style-conscious and has money to spend.

Tina Wynn, 45, a publicist from New York City's Bronx, says that the metrosexual male is not the type of man she'd take into consideration as a possible mate.

"I'm not knocking metrosexuals, but I personally find them unappealing. pealing. I prefer someone with a natural sense of style--someone who is comfortable in his own skin. I just don't think you should have to try so hard."

Wynn continues, "It's OK if your hair is not perfect, don't have a manicure or don't wear designer labels. To be perfectly coiffed is a complete turnoff for me."

Journalist Leha Byrd says that she does find this breed of man to be attractive and worth dating. She also admits that she does have some reservations about him.

"Metrosexual men are very interesting to me," the 25-year-old resident of Bloomfield, NJ, admits. "They dress nice, smell good and are usually good eye candy, but they present a lot of questions. Like, is he borderline gay or bisexual because of the femininity aspect or was he just raised well by women?

"I like a certain amount of thug in a man to let me know he knows how to handle things and me."

It's true that the metrosexual male embraces his softer, gentler side, but that doesn't mean that he should be called weak or girly. Things once considered unmanly such as taking pride in home decorating or even exfoliating and moisturizing your skin are gradually turning into a male indulgence and becoming more acceptable by society.

Chicago resident Wendi Hill feels that the term metrosexual is misleading and ambiguous due to the use of the word "sexual."

"Honestly, I'm confused with this newfound label. Why use the root word 'sexual' if the term or definition doesn't really refer to the subject's sexuality?" says the 30-something legal assistant/freelance writer. "Is good hygiene, arts appreciation and being well-dressed a sexual thing? Is a man more feminine because he pays attention to those things. No, he is not.

Hill states, "I'm naturally impressed with a man who has a secure sense of style, keeps himself presentable and has an appreciation of the arts and culture. It's all about balance. If he prioritizes his looks over spirituality, financial security and socio-political awareness, then I'm unimpressed, if not discouraged."

Actress/writer Joan Cargill, 36, says the metrosexual is a welcome change of pace. "If the metrosexual male is on the rise, then I say it's about time. I like the way they are attentive to the cultural aspects of life beyond a movie, but I dislike the clothing competition that can arise," says the Brooklyn, New Yorker.

Reality shows such as "Queer Eye For The Straight Guy," which offers tips to the heterosexual male on how to become more aesthetically pleasing to the ladies, has helped to make the trendy metrosexual concept popular.

Cincinnati native Johnessa Letcher, 33, says she watches the show and she has a thing for the Brother with a passion for fashion and culture.

"The metrosexual is my type of man. What woman doesn't want a man that takes pride in his personal appearance and enjoys the arts?" she asks. "To me that says a lot about his personality and this type of man would definitely be a reflection of me."

Letcher, an education intervention specialist, believes that dating one of these men may be exciting and even flattering, but she warns that there is a downside. "The problem that I see with these men is that they generally have a very large fan club. The ones who I have run into are usually single and are not looking to settle down, and that is a problem for a woman who wants a monogamous relationship.