Experts say chores for children are an important part of family life

Jet, Nov 17, 1997

Fifty years ago, almost every child had a chore or task that helped maintain the house, according to sources. Twenty years ago, children still had chores, but they often received payments for the task. Now all that remains of that tradition are the weekly payoffs, according to a story in the Chicago Sun-Times.

But several experts say assigning chores to children helps.

"It makes children feel important to help out with the family," explains T. Berry Brazelton, a professor of pediatrics at Harvard University Medical School, in the article.

Brazelton says adults are less likely to require kids to do chores because they "are so torn about the demands on their own time that they are reluctant to push their own children too far."

And other experts agree that children today have complicated schedules that involve sports, schoolwork and music lessons. However, a system can still be put in place, Brazelton says.

He advocates assigning chores to children as young as 3.

Chores not only allow the child to feel like a vital part of the family, but they also provide self-esteem, says William Damon, director of the Center for the Study of Human Development at Brown University and author of Greater Expectations.

"...The real self-esteem kids need comes from achievement, which requires hard work, including the drudgery of chores," Damon explains. "Children are not stupid. They know when they're being praised for something real."

He says chores give kids a sense of purpose and are good for them. He says the loss of the tradition of assigning chores is not good.

"I believe it's a loss of a sense of what's good for children," he points out. "We used to have a sense that children build character by serving their community. Now, there is a sense that what children need is free time for their friends and special lessons."

Getting kids started can be a chore in itself, but experts suggest these tips to make the job easier:

* Get the entire family involved in choosing chores and setting the consequences for not completing chores.

* Display clear visual aids that detail each child's responsibilities.

* Make realistic deadlines for completion and give clear consequences for missing the deadlines.

* Train children well so they will know exactly what is expected of them.

* Be sure the responsibilities are appropriate for the child's age.

* Praise children when they complete their chores well.

* Be consistent.

* Do not do the chore for the child.