Working the room: relax; focus on topics of common interest; and don't stay with one group too long - in-person business networking and communication

Black Enterprise, Sept, 1994 by Charlene Marmer Solomon

Some people enter a room and move through it with grace and style, chatting easily with people and picking up one valuable contact after another. Alas, we're not all that fortunate. But, take heart. It's not a matter of luck; it's a matter of practicing some skills until they become second nature.

"Many people make networking more difficult than it need be," says Juan F. Menefee, president of Juan Menefee & Associates, an Oak Park, Ill., executive search firm. "Networking should be fun, as well as moving your career forward." Just look at the people who are enjoying themselves. They're often the most successful people there. They exude confidence, make others feel at ease and create a strong first impression.

"The more comfortable you are, the more comfortable people are with you," says Menefee, and that translates into confidence in what you can do."

But getting to that level of self-assurance doesn't occur overnight. Working the room is a skill that you build over time. It's a combination of confidence and nerve. Use the opportunity to tell colleagues what you have to offer. The trick is to do it with tact and distinction--to be assertive, yet thoughtful.

Working the room doesn't just happen. Beyond the basics of appropriate dress, firm handshakes, good eye contact and handy business cards, here are several techniques to help you develop your networking talent.

Be an attentive listener. When you enter a group, be sensitive to the people who are speaking. Wait until the speaker is done before you join in. Then, pick up on something the group was saying, or simply start by introducing yourself and the reason you're at the event. Don't launch into what someone can do for you; begin your conversation on a more universal note.

Conversation starters can focus on the event or anything else that might arouse shared interest. Once you start a conversation, keep it going by chatting about common interests. Take your cue from the conversation and where it's headed naturally.

"Many people believe they have to interject something in every conversation that's going on," says Menefee. "Instead, wait for the opportunity to [talk about] a subject you know thoroughly." Don't pretend to know something you don't. If you're a beginning golfer chatting with someone more experienced, explain that you want to learn more about the game.

You need to know when--and how--to move on. Avoid staying in one conversation, no matter how inviting. Excuse yourself politely by saying, "It's been very nice talking with you." Then, move on.

While it's tempting to stay with one group once you've reached a comfort level, avoid forming a clique, says Emily Koltnow, co-author of Congratulations! You've Been Fired (Fawcett Columbine, New York, 1990). And don't be afraid to begin a conversation with someone who's different from you. If there are minorities and others in the room, meet both. The same goes for meeting both men and women. The point: Meet a variety of people.

This may be difficult if you're not naturally outgoing. "Practice mentally what you're going to say to people before you enter the situation," Koltnow advises. "You don't want to make people feel like they need to help you."

After all, networking is sharing; it's looking for possibilities. When you're conversing with people, let them know you are willing to share ideas and connections with them. With practice, you'll make your way through a room with ease.

NETWORKING NOTEBOOK

Free B school advice

Going back to school for your MBA? Get free advice on admissions, financial aid and job opportunities by affending a Destination MBA seminar. The program is open to all, but is geared toward African-American, Latino, and Native American college students and graduates. Ten seminars will be held this fall: Philadelphia (Sept. 24), Boston (Oct. 1), Houston (Oct. 8), Atlanta (Oct. 15), New York (Oct. 22), Washington, D.C. (Oct. 29), Chicago (Nov. 5), San Francisco (Nov. 12), Los Angeles (Nov. 19) and Detroit (Dec. 3). Advance registration isn't required. Call 800-446-0807.