Out of Line - a woman was rebellious in elementary school

Humanist, March, 1999 by Julie Ede Campbell

How very far I had traveled, it seemed, from the oppressive and controlling methods of earlier teachers. Truly, my education had evolved from one of condemnation and silencing to one of discovery and freedom. Even so, neither time nor experience has fully obscured the disempowering effects of those early authoritarians, whose harsh words and continual doubt of my abilities and my very value as a human being remain shadows in which I sometimes hide, finding it easier to doubt myself, even to mock myself, than to believe in my inherent value.

Was I kicked out of second grade? "Absolutely not!" answers my mother. And indeed not, say I. Nor was second grade ever really kicked out of me.

"We're running up your phone bill," my mother said, a sudden awakening of responsibility in her voice. "We should go."

"That's okay, Mom," I assured her. "It's been worth it."

Such, too, was the case with my education: it was worth it to ignore the shoulds, worth it to run up the bill, worth it to inhabit that dynamic and dangerous intellectual frontier that lies between conformity and chaos. I respect the girl who earned the D in conduct from Mrs. Robarge. That girl learned about the person she never wished to become--the quiet and obedient girl for whom Mrs. Robarge longed. No, I would not be silenced then. It was worth it to get out of line.

Julie Ede Campbell has an M. Ed. from the University of Washington at Tacoma and has taught high-school English for twelve years in Ohio and Washington. This article has been adapted from a piece previously published in the University of Washington at Tacoma art and literary magazine, Tahoma West.