A work journal - midlife librarian records thoughts about work

Library Trends, Spring, 2002 by Katherine Murphy Dickson

ABSTRACT

KEEPING A WORK JOURNAL can be useful in exploring one's thoughts and feelings about work challenges and work decisions. It can help bring about greater fulfillment in one's work life by facilitating self-renewal, change, the search for new meaning, and job satisfaction. Following is one example of a work journal which I kept in 1998. It touches on several issues of potential interest to midlife career librarians including the challenge of technology, returning to work at midlife after raising a family, further education, professional writing, and job exchange. The questions addressed are listed at the end of the article.

SAMPLE WORK JOURNAL, 1998

I.

When the alarm clock goes off in the morning and I realize that I have to get up and go to work, I wonder if I'm going to be able to make it. To some extent it is this way every morning, no matter what the day has in store for me. I do not think it is a measure of how much I like or dislike my job. I think it is just me and the process I go through waking up and giving birth to the day. As I struggle out of bed in the morning, I have doubt about my ability to shower, decide what I'm going to wear, make breakfast, remember to bring with me what I have decided I need to take, and get my act all together so that I am driving out of the driveway to get to work on time. Although I have gotten up and out millions of mornings, it never seems routine. It is always a hurdle. My confidence increases the closer I get to my goal of arriving at work on time.

I love my physical surroundings at work. The Nimitz Library is a beautiful building with large plate glass windows which look out on the Severn River and the Chesapeake Bay. My desk is by a window that overlooks the Severn River. I am incredibly lucky and whenever I see where some people work, I am freshly reminded how lucky I am. I love water and yearn for it whenever I am away from it for any length of time. Water makes me feel connected to nature and to the eternal. It is also fascinating to look at because the light is always different depending on the time of day and the season.

I think I interact well with my coworkers. There are ten reference librarians in one office, and we make an effort to be considerate of each other. In the group, I am the oldest and also one of the quieter and more reserved persons. My interactions are collegial and friendly.

What kinds of feedback/help do I need and get at work? Successful reference work depends on communication and sharing information and instant feedback. I feel that I get this kind of feedback from my colleagues and my supervisors. The kind of help that I need at work relates primarily to computers. Some demonstrations and training are provided, but I never feel they are sufficient for me. Also, I never find or make adequate time to practice and really get to know new systems so that they are second nature. I find it extremely difficult to keep up to date with the Internet, for instance. It is a problem both of creating time and also knowing what it is I do not know.

Usually while I am doing my work I feel quite good. This is particularly true when I answer reference questions. Faculty, midshipmen, and staff at the Naval Academy are usually very grateful for assistance and this adds to my feelings of satisfaction at being able to provide the required assistance. I also feel needed and appreciated when I work with faculty to add books or journals to the collection or to develop library instruction for a class. But there are times--when I have to prepare reports and internal memos--that I feel rushed making or having actually passed a deadline. At these times I feel the pressure of too much work to do in a given space of time. Often at these times I feel as though I am just going through the motions and grinding things out to meet a requirement. What do I do all day at my job as a reference librarian at the Naval Academy? I serve as reference bibliographer for the English and language studies departments. My time is divided almost equally among four main areas: reference duties, collection development, library instruction coordination, and midshipmen/faculty contact. Reference duties consist of providing reference assistance at the reference desk. Collection development duties require that I develop and maintain the book and periodical collections to support the English and language studies curricula. As library instruction coordinator I plan, implement, and evaluate the library instruction program at the academy. Finally, I develop faculty and midshipmen contact to the extent necessary to carry out these activities. This contact is necessary to develop the collection and the instruction to support the teaching curriculum and faculty research at the academy.

My energy is always highest in the morning and gradually diminishes with the day. Contact with people, either library patrons or staff, and also contact with a subject of particular interest, such as poetry, gives me energy. What saps my energy are interruptions that keep me from getting to something on which I need to work. At the end of the working day I feel tired, my body feels tired, and I think that I only wish I could feel the way I do in the morning. And why can't I? My characteristic end-of-day feeling is that now I am free to do what I want, but I am too tired to enjoy doing it.