A woman's world - Meghalaya, India; matrilineal culture

Whole Earth Review, Winter, 1995 by Thomas Laird, Michael Victor

CONCERNED CITIZENS GATHERED RECENTLY IN A PUBLIC HALL, in Shillong, capital of the Indian state of Meghalaya, to discuss women's rights. The program was organized by the Sam Kam Rin Ku Mai (Societal Restructuring Association). As in other parts of India and Asia, both men and women want to change traditions that have been in existence for thousands of years, but which are now seen as sources of social discrimination.

Yet the battle is not about gaining women's rights, but about diminishing them. The native people of Meghalaya are part of the world's largest surviving matrilineal culture. Some men of Meghalaya feel oppressed by what they now see as a female-dominated society. Outside influences and education have made them realize that they do not have the "natural rights" of their brethren throughout most of the patrilineal world. Eighteen-year-old Anthony Musonbri speaks emotionally about his fate in this "women's world":

"If I marry and go to my wife's house, I have to be under her control and under the control of her mother, all because I am living in her house. I am a servant really -- just a breeding bull."

FOR ANYONE BORN into a patrilineal society, and particularly for a male, it is a revealing experience to witness life in Meghalaya. The fundamental assumptions built into 90 percent of the world's cultures are reversed. In the rest of South Asia, women are ruthlessly exploited. One social worker in Kathmandu, the capital of Nepal, put it succinctly: "The law is against us. Men have the full weight of the culture and law behind them, and it leaves the women no rights or ways to find justice. One hundred thousand Nepalese women have been sold off into prostitution in India, where they are nearly slaves. Here, we don't inherit, and we are often sold off to marriages we do not want. We are used as breeding cows by the men."

Since this is the norm in South Asia, it is ironic to hear Meghalayan men complain of their problems. J.D. Lyngdoh, vice president of the Societal Restructuring Association, sounds like a European or American woman activist circa 1960 when he talks of male problems in Meghalaya today.

"We have become like tools for the women. It makes you feel so insecure: everything always belongs to the wife's house. If you don't please her, don't work hard enough, any little thing, then -- after six months, or seven children -- you are through."

Shillong is still somewhat isolated. But videos and satellite TV have brought the relatively affluent tribal people of the region into full intellectual contact with the rest of the world. What has caused more changes, though, is the fact that since 1960, vast numbers of Indians from the plains of Bengal have moved into North Eastern India.

Yet the indigenous Khasi, Jaintia, and Gharo tribes have retained much of their ancient culture. These cousin societies have maintained the matrilineal tradition for thousands of years. Although historical evidence is limited, it appears that the Gharo and Jaintia tribes migrated from Tibet, and the Khasi tribe from the Khmer areas of Southeast Asia. In these traditional societies the men have always been traders and warriors and the women have stayed home.

KHASI WOMEN explain that "because the men were gone for long periods of time, property passed down through the female line, from mother to daughter." And even though men retained political power -- in the form of tribal monarchies and clan councils -- rights to all power passed from mother to daughter, not from father to son. Although 80 percent of the tribal population is Christian, these old traditions still pervade Meghalayan society.

As everywhere, the language reflects basic cultural assumptions. The Khasi believe the female is the giver of all life, the root of all things. All nouns take a gender form, as with many European languages. An inanimate object is masculine until it is put to use. The word for tree is masculine, but when the wood is transformed into any building material, the noun becomes feminine. Likewise, the word for a rock is masculine only when it is not cut and Used. So it is with all nouns: something useful is feminine; something unshaped, crude and natural, is male.

Although the women do not seek leadership in either politics or religion -- the Khasi have never had queens, only kings, and all priests are male -- land power, name, and social rank are passed on from mothers to daughters. Even before the British colonial conquest, kings did not pass power on to their sons. The monarchs were men but the rights to monarchy passed down through the king's youngest sister: so a king could not make his son king: only his sister's son could be king. This forced kings to consult privately with their sisters, just as Khasi men and women control political power today. Men consult their wives before voting in public forums, and the women agree to stay at home when the votes are cast.

Matrilineal is not matriarchal. The women do not dominate the men. Here the men have power -- but it is inherited from the women. This power structure has created a unique balance between the sexes.