Featured White Papers
Let's all give money to the rich man! Billionaire sports team owners and their corporate welfare scam
Reason, June, 2007 by Peter Bagge
THE "KINGDOME'" WAS A CONCRETE EYESORE THAT SERVED AS HOME FOR SEATTLE'S PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL AND BASEBALL.
WOW! NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL AN IMPLOSION!
BACKIN 1976, THE N.F.L. DECREED THE ONLY WAY THE CITY COULD, "WIN" AN EXPANSION FRANCHISE OR HOST A SUPERBOWL (HA!) WAS IF IT BUILT AN INDOOR STADIUM ...
THIS IS WAY MORE ENTERTAINING THAN ANYTHING I'VE EVER SEEN INSIDE THAT PLACE!
SEATTLE'S INFAMOUS RAINFALL IS WHAT DEEMED THIS REQUIREMENT NECESSARY, IN SPITE OF OUR BONE-DRY SUMMERS AND REGULARLY SOLD-OUT 80,000 SEAT COLLEGE FOOTBALL STADIUM ...
BUT THE LOCAL POLITICIANS CAVED IN TO THIS ABSURD DEMAND, I BUILDING THAT ALL-PURPOSE MONSTROSITY AT THE COUNTY TAXPAYERS' EXPENSE ...
AND WE'RE STILL. PAYING FOR IT, SEVEN YEARS AFTER WE BLEW THAT PLACE UP!
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EVERYONE QUICKLY' GREW TO DESPISE THE PLACE--A FACT THAT ALLOWED THE TEAMS' NEW OWNERS TO BELLYACHE FOR EVEN NEWER STADIUMS ...
THE MARINERS' GEORGE ARGYROS
THIS FACILITY IS UNSUITABLE FOR BASEBALL
THE SEAHAWKS' KEN BEHRING
WITHOUT A NEW STRUCTURE FOOTBALL IS DOOMED TO FAIL IN THIS TOWN.
THESE TWO SHADY CHARACTERS INVESTED NEXT TO NOTHING IN IMPROVING THEIR RESPECTIVE TEAMS, BUT THEY BOTH SOLD THEIR "WORTHLESS" FRANCHISES FOR FIVE TIMES WHAT THEY PAID FOR THEM.
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BY 1995, THE CITY WAS ENJOYING. BOTH A BOOMING. ECONOMY AND IT'S, FIRST-EVER WINNING BASEBALL SEASON--A PERFECT TIME TO NIT UP THE PUBLIC FOR A NEW STADIUM, RIGHT?
JAY BUNNER
C'MON SEATTLE! NOW THAT WE'RE FINALLY DOING OUR JOBS, HOW ABOUT REWARDING US WITH A NEW BALL-PARKS?
KEN GRIFFEY JR.
OTHERWISE I'M OUTTA HERE AS SOON AS MY CONTACTS UP!*
*HE LEFT ANYWAY
YET THE vOTERS REJECTED TH,S PROPOSAL, AND YOU'D THINK THE BEGGING WOULD HAVE ENDED THERE ...
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ONLY THE STATE LEGISLATURE THEN STEPPED IN TO CORRECT THIS MISTAKE, RAISING TAXES ON HOTELS, RESTAURANTS, AND RENTAL CARS TO PAY FOR THE NEW BALLFIELD ...
THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN, AND ONCE AGAIN THEY WERE WRONG ...
IT'S THE PEOPLE WHO FINANCE MY CAMPAIGNS WHO TRULY MATTER ...
AND I SAY LET'S BUILD 'EM A STADIUM!
HURRAH!
WHICH THE LEGISLATORS CYNICALLY REFERRED TO AS A "TOURIST TAX," IMPLYING THAT ONLY OUT-OF-TOWNERS RENT CARS AND HOTEL ROOMS, SO THE TAX WASN'T COSTING US RESIDENTS A THING!
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THOSE SAME HAPLESS "TOURISTS" ARE ALSO FUNDING OUR BRAND-NEW FOOTBALL STADIUM--WHICH WAS APPROVED BY 51 PERCENT OF THE VOTE AFTER NEW OWNER PAUL ALLEN AGREED TO CHIP IN $100 MILLION OF HIS OWN MONEY ...
$100 MILLION ISN'T EXACTLY CHUMP CHANGE ...
WELL, MAYBE FOR ME IT IS ...
STILL, GIMME SOME CREDIT!
AWWW! WE LOVE YA, PAUL!
NOW BUY US ANOTHER BEER!
EVEN THOUGH THAT ACCOUNTED FOR ONLY ONE-FOURTH OF THE TOTAL PRICE OF THE STADIUM! THANKS, "TOURIST"!
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NOW IT'S OUR N.B.A FRANCHISES, THE SONICS, WHO ARE BELLYACHING ABOUT WHAT A DUMP THEY HAVE TO PLAY IN ...
?!? HEY! THEIS PLACE SUCKS!
AND I JUST SPENT $200 MILLION ON THIS TEAM!
I WANT A NEW ARENA NOW, OR I'M GONNA SELL!
HEY, YOU'RE RIGHT! THIS PLACE DOES SUCK!
FUNNY HOW WE NEVER NOTICED BEFORE ...
"WHICH HE DID, FOR TWICE WHAT HE PAID FOR THE TEAM.
EVEN THOUGH THE ARENA THEY PLAY IN WAS ONLY SIX YEARS OLD WHEN THE PRINCIPAL OWNER (AND STARBUCKS C.E.O) NOWARD SHULTZ BOUGHT THE TEAM!
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FROM A FAN'S POINT OF VIEW, HEY ARENA IS A GREAT PLACE. WHAT' S "WRONG" WITH IT FROM AN OWNER'S P.O.V, ARE FLAWS SUCH AS "POORLY" PLACED LUXURY BOXES" AND "LIMITED INDOOR EATING ESTABLISHMENTS," WHICH LIMITS THIS TEAM'S PROFIT POTENTIAL ...
YOU'VE RAISED MY B&O TAX AGAIN? WHY?
TO SUBSIDIZE THE NEW SPORTS BAR RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET.
BUT THE SONICS ALSO WANT TO TAX RESTAURANTS--THE VERY PLACES THEY WANT TO TAKE BUSINESS AWAY FROM!
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THE SONICS WERE SEATTLE'S FIRST BIG-LEAGUE FRANCHISE BACK IN 1967, WHEN THE CITY WAS STILL DESPERATE TO SHED ITS BACKWOODS IMAGE AND LET THE REST OF THE COUNTRY KNOW IT WAS A "MAJOR PLAYER" ...
GET A LOAD OF ME, FELLAS!
I'M WEARING BIG BOY PANTS NOW!
?!? "THE SUPERSONICS"?
WHAT KINDA FAG NAME IS THAT?
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TO THIS DAY, SMALLER CITIES WITH INFERIORITY COMPLEXES ASPIRE TO BE ONE OF THE "BIG BOYS", SPENDING FORTUNES ON MASSIVE SPORTS COMPLEXES THAT DWARF THEIR PUNY SKYLINES ...
MEANWHILE, THE LOS ANGELES METRO AREA HAS GONE WITHOUT ANY N.F.L. TEAM FOR MORE THAN A DECADE, YET FEW OF ITS 12 MILLION CITIZENS SEEM TO NOTICE, LET ALONE CARE. NOTHING BEATS HAVING A LIFE, IT SEEMS!
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THESE NEW SPORTS FACILITIES COST AT LEAST TWICE AS MUCH AS THE VALUE OF THE TEAMS THEMSELVES. YET WHILE THE FRANCHISES RAPIDLY INCREASE IN VALUE, THE STADIUMS JUST AS RAPIDLY DESCEND INTO OBSOLESCENCE ...
MR. BOWLEN! NOW THAT YOUR BROCHOS HAVE WON THE SUPERBOWL, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?
I'M GONNA MOVE THE TEAM!
UNLESS THE CITY OF DENVER SHOWS SOME GRATITUDE AND BUILDS ME A NEW STADIUM!