Taking out Arnold: one soundbite at a time

Reason, Nov, 2003 by Peter Bagge

... Moment after Arnold Schwarzenegger announced his candidacy for governor, we get word of a new book detailing his many alleged peccadilloes .

Wow! Is that a Coincidence or what?

Schwarzenegger's xenophobia is self-evident in his dislike of immigrants ...

But he's an immigrant himself ...

That's right! And his Aryan notions of racial superiority are not welcome in this country!

He shamefully boasted of using marijuana and steroids in his own autobiography .

Oh! What are you so ashamed of, Arnold!?

He's since distanced himself from those claims .

This recall is just a rightwing conspiracy to get a republican elected governor!

But Arnold's hardly a right-winger.

Which is why I'm urging all my fellow right-wingers to oppose him!

The "terminator" movies clearly expose Arnold as an out-of-control gun nut!

And in "kindergarden cop" he even advocates guns in schools ...

But those are movies!

While "twins" is practically an ad for genetic engineering ...

To elect a mere actor at this time of crisis would be unconscionable ...

He simply doesn't have the right qualifications .

Are you saying only lawyers are qualified to govern!

Of course not .

I'm saying we have to Elect the right lawyers!