All the president's fault - US First Lady Hillary Clinton's dismissal of public employees

Reason, April, 1996 by Michael McMenamin, James Oliphant

This is not good. Hillary needs to come clean, to reconsider her mere-expressions-of-concern posture. And the way to do this goes against her ambitious, uber-feminist grain like lacquered nails on a chalkboard. She must invoke a defense as traditional as country-fried steak in Arkansas. She must blame her spouse: "It was my husband's fault," Mrs. Clinton should say. "It was Bill who was deeply involved in the Travel Office conspiracies. It was Bill who met with Thomason in February and March, and twice during the week of May 10. We talked about it at night. Everybody knew it was Bill, even that turncoat, Janet Green. I didn't get involved until May 10, and then only because Bill wanted me to. I was just relaying Bill's concerns. I was only a conduit, a buffer. What do I know about government airplanes or charters or the press being gouged by the Travel Office? Why the hell would it matter to me if the press were being gouged anyway? Like I care?"

Look what the truth does. Instantly, Hillary's off the hook for tortious interference. Her husband, the president, had every legal right to interfere with the employment of the seven staffers. After all, he employed them, and he has immunity for firing them. Mr. Clinton, for his part, should then say something to the effect of: "You know what? She's right. I did it, and I'm glad. What are friends for?" Sure, the president will have to confess that he lied about Travelgate in 1993, but it won't be a new experience for him. He'll get over it. It might even help his re-election, demonstrating his devotion to family values by saving his wife. The conservatives will love him for his chivalry.

Our defense to an emotional-distress claim is similar. The outrageous and extreme nature of the firings, the improper use of the FBI and IRS, the rumor spreading, and the humiliating expulsion from the White House form the gist of this charge. In her defense, Mrs. Clinton must again come clean and blame the men: "It's not my fault. Vince Foster called the FBI in. It's his fault. I told him it was wrong. I knew it was wrong because of my service as a congressional staff lawyer during the Watergate hearings. Vince felt badly about it, too. He even mentioned it in his suicide note. As for the humiliating manner in which the Travelgate Seven were fired, that's not my fault either. It's Watkins's fault. I know he tried to blame it on me in that self-serving memo where he says, 'In light of the First Lady's insistence...the abrupt manner of dismissal...was the only option.' But that's a bunch of crap - or rather, I mean, my goodness, people know that's not my style. I'm much more sensitive. I even sent birthday cards in late 1993 to two of those poor, unfortunate little people that my husband wanted kicked out in the cold to benefit Thomason and Cornelius - boy, did Watkins have her pegged right. But that's the only thing he had right. If I had been in charge instead of the incompetents my husband had around him in 1993 - you notice they're all gone now, every one of them - we wouldn't be in this fix today."