Ankles and Lips Earn Legislators' Attention

0 Comments | Insight on the News, Feb 16, 2004

Byline: Stephen Goode, INSIGHT

Ankles and Lips Earn Legislators' Attention

Here are a couple of sartorial and good-grooming notes from Holland and India that may surprise you. Certainly for the people was more than a bit perplexed to learn that in the Netherlands, a very liberal nation where nothing at all seems to be frowned upon or forbidden, a major government agency has declared white socks to be not only undesirable but positively indecent.

In a recent memo circulated internally at the Dutch Finance Ministry, white socks were said to "transgress the limits of decent dress behavior" for ministry employees, according to a dispatch from Reuters.

What garb were Dutch government-finance guys and gals expected to wear? Dark blue or gray suits, of course, to convey "reliability and professionalism."

Different strokes for different folks, however, and officials of Madhya Pradesh state in India have come up with another way to foster a professional and reliable look among police officers and the rank and file. Policemen will be paid an additional 65 cents every month to grow a mustache, reports the newspaper the Asian Age, again according to Reuters.

Why a mustache? Police superintendent Mayank Jain told the newspaper that research shows officers with mustaches are taken more seriously than clean-shaven police. But Jain added, seeming to want it both ways, the style of mustaches policemen choose to cultivate will be monitored to ensure that they do not take on too mean a look.

Think Twice if It's 'For Your Own Good'

This is a newsmagazine after all, so for the people regularly takes notice of "The Most Dubious News Stories of the Year" selected annually by the National Anxiety Center of Maplewood, N.J. The jury for these awards noted this year that "some of the stupidest ideas are put forth by various groups claiming that what they do is only for our own good," and this column wholeheartedly agrees.

Here are the nominees of Alan Caruba, founder of the National Anxiety Center, in rough chronological order. Readers no doubt will have their own additions.

Arianna Huffington, the columnist and failed candidate for governor of California, initiated "Project Detroit" in January to get people to stop driving sport utility vehicles. She claimed that buying gas-guzzling SUVs helped to support terrorism.

In May a lawyer sued Kraft Foods, seeking to ban Oreo cookies. Nationwide, the food police have declared a holy war and are claiming that the most prolific weapon of mass destruction is the fast-food cheeseburger.

In June legislators proposed a tax on the flatulence released by New Zealand's cattle and sheep. Advocates claimed it would raise $4.9 million to fund research into ways of minimizing the impact of ruminant effluvium on global warming.

Also in June, the U.S. surgeon general told a congressional committee that he would support a total ban on all tobacco products. Says Caruba: "Someone should tell him about the failed social experiment called Prohibition, or the billions of dollars of illegal drugs smuggled into the U.S. every year."

In September the First International Dry Toilet Conference was held in Finland, according to its sponsors, to avoid the "environmental disaster" posed by flush toilets. The group's objective is to eliminate flush toilets worldwide.

In November the Center for Science in the Public Interest declared nutrition labeling on packaged food to be too confusing, essentially saying that customers are too stupid to do the math. The spokesman for the group had no qualms about adding that the center "could envision taxes on butter, potato chips, whole milk, cheese [and] meat," items it believes customers should be discouraged from buying. For their own good, of course.

Stephen Goode is a senior writer for Insight.