Some unfortunate souls get run over by wheels of justice

0 Comments | Insight on the News, August 5, 2002 | by Stephen Godde, | Zoli Simon

There can be no doubt that strange things are happening, and they can't all be blamed on the summer heat. In Australia, for example, where it now is winter, a district judge decided that the Jannali Inn, a south Sydney watering hole, owed one Troy Bowron nearly $36,000 in compensation because workers there failed to clean up greasy spots on the tavern floor five years ago. While playing pool, Bowron slipped on said grease and fell, badly breaking an arm that took two plates and 12 pins to fix.

Grease on the floor may not seem unusual in bars, but these spots had gotten there at the hands, or rather the feet, of bar patron Ross Lucock. Perhaps just because he was barefoot and it was cold, or maybe because he had been drinking a tad too much Foster's, Lucock grabbed a pair of pork chops he had won in a raffle earlier in the day and tied them to the bottom of his feet. Sporting this porcine footwear, Lucock continued to drink, traipsing from time to time across the floor and creating the slippery grease spots.

According to excited wire services, Judge Anthony Puckeridge said the bar had breached its duty to its patrons when it failed to clean up Lucock's greasy trail. But he dismissed a second lawsuit Bowron had brought, seeking additional damages from Lucock.

Puckeridge said he found Lucock in no way to blame for Bowron's misfortune and ordered the latter to pay court expenses. It was a decision that many would not call fair to the injured man. But it did seem confirmation of the adage that a higher power protects fools and drunks.

Meanwhile, among other odd happenings of recent occurrence, this column would be remiss if it failed to call its readers' attention to the plight of Emily Harris, a chicken hypnotist from Palmer, Alaska, who lost her bike on a recent visit to Scotland.

The $1,800 bicycle went missing while the 25-year-old Harris, who has been traveling in Britain with fellow circus artistes, tried on a shirt in an Edinburgh thrift shop. Stolen? Mislaid? No, an eager thrift-shop clerk had sold the bike for $15, a sum the shop then refused to remit to the young lady.

According to Reuters, the multitalented Harris eats fire, performs puppetry and plays the concertina, but specializes in hypnotizing chickens to play the piano. It's an act, a melodrama perhaps, that for the people happily would pay to see. An apt title? How about: "Fowl Play."

STEPHEN GOODE IS A SENIOR WRITER AND ZOLI SIMON IS AN INTERN FOR Insight.