More gallinaceous glee for the people

0 Comments | Insight on the News, Jan 7, 2003 | by Stephen Goode

Last issue, for the people quoted a few apocryphal reactions from the famous to that eternal question, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" There wasn't enough room to print all of the imaginary responses supplied by a faithful reader, so here are a few more:

Captain Kirk: "To boldly go where no chicken has gone before."

Bill Gates: "I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken."

Albert Einstein: "Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?"

Bill Clinton: "I did not cross the road with that chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define `chicken' please?"

Saddam Hussein: "This was an unprovoked act of rebellion by the chicken and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it."

Voltaire: "I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it."

Karl Marx: "It was a historical inevitability that the chicken would cross the road."

Aristotle: "It is in the nature of chickens to cross roads."

Barbara Walters: "Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it suffered a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road."

John Lennon: "Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace."

Colonel Sanders: "I missed one?"

STEPHEN GOODE IS A SENIOR WRITER FOR Insight.