Most Boring of Them All?

0 Comments | Insight on the News, Dec 7, 1998 | by John Elvin

Alan Caruba, founder of the Boring Institute, has issued his 15th annual "Most Boring Celebrities of the Year" list, headed by President Clinton.

The Maplewood, N.J., institute was founded in 1984 when Caruba observed that the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade always looked the same. So he sent out a press release claiming that research conducted by the institute revealed that the parade actually was a videotape that was aired year after year. The wire services picked up the joke, and "I knew I had an instant hit," Caruba told the Washington Times.

Here are 1998's top 10 bores, according to the institute.

1. Bill Clinton: "Gave shortest, worst speech in the history of the presidency."

2. Monica Lewinsky: "`Big Creep's favorite intern."

3. Kenneth Starr: "Makes the wrath of God seem tame."

4. Linda Tripp: "Currently applying for the witness-protection program."

5. James Carville: "Spinmeister got slam-dunked by the truth."

6. William Ginsburg: "Can you sue yourself for ruining your own reputation?"

7. Jerry Seinfeld: "Funnyman wisely split before the show became even more boring."

8. Spice Girls: "First Ginger Spice left and then both Posh and Scary Spice got pregnant. And we care about this, right?"

9. Ally McBeal: "Everyone loves Raymond and hates Ally McBeal."

10. Godzilla: "Big lizard instantly crushed by Jim Carrey"