Those Dress Code Blues

0 Comments | Insight on the News, Dec 7, 1998 | by Ann Geracimos

Black tie, creative Mack tie, no tie or `kitchen wear'? Ill-defined

Etiquette is out in Washington, judging by the much-publicized rancor between Republicans and Democrats. The fact is, while Congress toils over the meaning of "impeachable offense," lesser mortals struggle to understand equally cryptic phrases that increasingly appear on party invitations: "semiformal," "informal," "creative black tie" "festive dress" "smart casual" and "dressy casual."

Most social swimmers know "black tie" means "tuxedo required" but for women, the issue is more complex. Does a black-tie invitation require a woman to buy a long gown, or can she get away with a fashionable cocktail dress or maybe even fancy trousers?

Rules are rules, says etiquette maven Letitia Baldrige, whether written or not: Hosts should make sure guests know what is expected. One embassy official recently asked her if "black tie optional" was appropriate for an invitation. "Absolutely not!" Baldrige responded. "People who come in evening clothes feel like stuffed penguins, and people in business attire feel underdressed. It's a recipe for making people feel miserable."

Continues Baldrige, "`Creative black tie' drives me up the wall. People aren't supposed to be desperately seeking answers to find out what it means. We're not a masquerade society going out for Halloween. I suppose it means a man could wear a polka-dot tie."

Washington's Arena Stage, for example, requested patrons to wear creative black tie for the opening night of its production of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. Few seemed to take the words seriously. Even Molly D. Smith, the theater's new artistic director, appeared in a black silk pantsuit and boots. Creative or predictable?

Pauline Innis, coauthor of Protocol: The Complete Handbook of Diplomatic, Official and Social Usage, isn't opposed to creative dress modes. She recalls her own response to a "Date With the Devil" gala benefit for the Washington Opera. "The invitation read `black tie' and underneath, `red or black for ladies'" she says. "I had a rather wicked-looking dress with long points and a slit that went up to the side, and I wore red fishnet stockings and red shoes. I felt beautifully devilish."

But a benefit gala given by the James Renwick Alliance, a classy crafts emporium, pushed creativity to its limit -- at least in the nation's capital. Guests were requested to appear in black tie or "an ensemble reminiscent of a favorite room in your home." One woman came dressed as a rose garden and her husband as the "kitchen" with implements attached to his tuxedo. "In our group, people are going to wear what they are going to wear anyway" boasts alliance president Sue Bralove.

Meanwhile, Italian Ambassador Ferdinando Salleo and his wife, Anna Maria, thought they were cluing in guests for their fall "Brunch on the Lawn" party. They sent out invitations sporting an illustration of a bejeweled woman holding a wineglass beside a red Ferrari on the lawn of their residence, Villa Firenze.

There were real Ferraris on the lawn that day and sylphlike models exhibiting expensive Italian jewelry. So Guilianna Mirotta, the ambassador's social secretary, was surprised to see several guests in casual garb. Ambassador Salleo wore a sport jacket and bright-yellow tie; his wife wore a short white dress and stockings.

"A brunch at an ambassador's residence should not be considered a casual affair similar to your own home" she says. "You go to brunch at the Ritz or a nice hotel, you dress up a bit. Not necessarily in a tie. To see men in sport shirts alone really surprised me. I find it ridiculous that you need to specify a dress code for this.... A lot of people did call ahead, and I was happy to tell them that this is not a picnic on the lawn."

Most embassies specify either "black tie" -- meaning tuxedos and something elegant on the women -- or "business attire" meaning suits and ties. When the Canadian Embassy specified "casual attire" for a Fourth of July barbecue on the rooftop overlooking The Mall, one guest took the social staff's directions at their word and turned up in an open-collar shirt, only to find a fully suited ambassador and every other man wearing a tie.

"We used to know what to do" says Baldrige. "If it didn't have `black tie' on the invitation, you put on your little black dress and tried to look as good as you could." Innis agrees. "I think it is a mistake to be too general" she says. "It puts people off. Some people don't have creative desire but love the cause."

Baldrige offers a final word of caution for women: Only slender souls should go out in public in so-called evening pants or palazzos. Where gloves are concerned: Watch what your hostess does. Remove them in a receiving line if she does. Never eat with your hands covered.