Taste, style and $200 haircuts - facetious look at Bill Clinton's $200 indulgent haircut - The Last Word - Column

0 Comments | Insight on the News, June 21, 1993 | by Tod Lindberg

I have been asking myself, "Who spends $200 on a haircut? What kind of person is it who gets a $200 haircut?"

I think we should proceed by process of elimination and deduction.

Well, clearly, the poor do not get $200 haircuts. (They get $200 earned income tax credits.) Nor do the middle class. (They get $200 tax increases.)

Let's face it: You need real money to get a $200 haircut.

If you get your hair cut once a month, that's $2,400 a year. Figure that if you're a guy, and you're getting a $200 haircut, the missus must also be getting $200 hairdos - at least. So we are talking something like $4,800 a year.

At the same time, it's hard to figure a rich industrialist, say, getting a $200 haircut. A Fortune 500 CEO has better things to do with his time and money, I would bet. Plus, people on the board would talk.

Similarly, all those blue-blooded, social registry, old-money rich people with names like Fitz-Wiggie and Vandenhoopdedoop. These are people who, though they have never worked a day in their lives, nevertheless feel a certain sense of responsibility toward their money. One mustn't, well, tinkle it away, eh?

No, the people who spend $200 for a haircut are the people who are new to their money. People who have more of it than they have taste. People who move into ostentatious, fancy mansions the first chance they get. People who think the only way to get around town is in chauffeur-driven limousines. People who have luxury private jets. People who use their newfound wealth and glory to hobnob with celebrity bozos. People who, although they make a show of dining in the finest restaurants, never lose their taste for the fruits of the deep fryer and mayo-based "special sauce." People who have the bloated girth to prove it.

People like Elvis!

And, of course, like Bill Clinton. You know why I have brought this up. The legendary styliste Christophe, who charges $200 a pop, gave our president a haircut on the tarmac at Los Angeles International Airport. Christophe, of course, uses only the name "Christophe" - much like Halston, the designer, or Madonna, the singer, or Najibullah, the former ruler of Afghanistan.

So for purposes of comparison, I thought it would be useful to call around Washington and ask other hairstylists who use only one name what they charge.

At Dave's Barber Shop, it's $7. At Darrell's Barber & Stylist shop, it's $10. At Jakes Ultra-Modern Barber Shop, $8. At Johnny's Barber Shop, it'll be $9. At John's, $9 again. At Kenny & Paul's Barber & Hair Salon, they don't give prices over the phone; come on in and take a look at the list - it depends on what you want. But I'm with the media, I protest. Oh, well, then they start at $7.

At Louis' Barber Shop, $14, and it's $15 at Norman's Barber and Beauty Salon. At Rick's, $10. Smitty's Barber Shop: $8 to $9. Tony's is $8. At Vito's, $12. I tried Muhammed's, but unfortunately Muhammed isn't there anymore.

So call it about $10 on average. Plus, say, a $2 tip (you would tip Vito, wouldn't you?). At once a month, that comes to $144 a year.

Now, as we know from a recent study by Ralph Nader's Center for Responsive Law, Why Women Pay More, which got a lot of attention this May, women tend to get clipped (sorry) for more than men do for such basic services as dry cleaning, laundry and, yes, hairstyling. In fact, the Associated Press reported that the Nader study found that "two out of three shops in New York charged women $20 for a basic shampoo, cut and blow dry, while they charged men $16." We are talking about a 25 percent premium, in other words. So if we apply that to the men's figure of $144, we are talking about $180 a year. (There is no indication that so esteemed an eminence as Christophe discriminates on the basis of gender in this fashion or in any other fashion, so we will let our $200-a-pop figure stand for boys and girls for him.)

But, of course, women go to the beauty parlor more frequently than men go to the barbershop. Perhaps this is unnecessary for the customers of Le Grande Christophe, but customers of lesser practitioners of the cosmetological arts are not so fortunate. I have been unable to find any statistics on this, but anecdotally, we know that some women go as often as once a week. Let's call it twice a month on average. So that would be $360 a year. And women must tip the shampoo girl as well as the stylist. Figure a dollar for her at 24 times a year.

But that's not all. If Christophe does your hair, he comes to you, even if you're on the tarmac blocking two runways at a major international airport. Joe Six-pack has to get to the barbershop himself, as does Mrs. Six-pack to the salon. We'll allow $15 a year fo gas and ammunition for the Chevy pickup for him and $20 for her Camaro (plus an extra 25 percent, because, as we know, Women Pay More). That's $25 for her, for a total of $40.

In short, for him and her together we are talking, ballpark, $568. Now, median family income in the United States is $35,225. So why don't we say that a whisker under 1.6125 percent of family income can be expected to go to hair services.