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A little help from your friends: how creating a peer group can hold you accountable to your dreams
Advocate, The, March 25, 2008 by Keith Ferrazzi
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WHAT IS THE ONE THING parents, teachers, and bosses all have in common? Aside from the power they have likely wielded over you at some point in your life, these people have been responsible for an incredibly important task--holding you accountable. Whether it was your mother making sure you followed through on your chores or your second-grade teacher ensuring you did your own homework, you knew that someone would be checking in on you.
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But now you're an adult, and the expectation is that you are supposed to brave this crazy world on your own and hold yourself accountable. Sadly, this is not always the case. We tend to be our own worst enemy when it comes to accountability, constantly making excuses and selling ourselves short for why we cannot or did not achieve our goals. For example, if you're anything like most people, you probably kissed your New Year's resolution goodbye around mid January and have a plethora of reasons why things "just didn't work out."
Now, who said goal setting had to come only once a year? Was it the same person who said you had to stop letting others hold you accountable?
Here's my suggestion: When it comes to setting and, more important, achieving your goals, do not do it alone. Setting goals often--and then meeting those goals--provides motivation and momentum that can lead you to bigger and better places. And having others hold you responsible makes you more likely to succeed. Too often, we fail at life because we lack a clear vision or plan about what we really want. We start to pursue a goal, but at the first sign of failure we give up. That's when an accountability group saves the day.
Since founding my company, I have always wanted to create a research branch to substantiate the work that we do. Whether I was too busy with another area of the company or a particular client, I never took the time to follow through on this goal. Finally I enlisted the support of my staff and my board to hold me accountable for starting this long-desired research institute. I set aside the time and resources to develop the institute because I knew so many others were now expecting me to make good. If I started to stray, they would put me back on course with encouragement and honest candor, which pushed me past my excuses and toward action. Now I have successfully launched the Ferrazzi Research Institute to bring cutting-edge research findings to our clients--forever changing the way we do business.
You are probably thinking, Gee, Keith, that's fantastic ... for you. I'm just too busy to make sure my friends hold me accountable. I will refrain from calling you a "quitter" and will suggest a simple solution: Facebook. Luckily for you, technology makes creating and managing an accountability group easier than ever. Why not leverage the power of your P2P networks and use them for your benefit (as opposed to just killing time browsing for cute guys)?
Earlier this year I launched a Facebook application called "Goal Post." The application allows you to set one or more goals, select friends to hold you accountable, and update your goal completion status as time goes by. Your accountability group is integrated into the process, and even non-accountability group peers can provide encouragement, inspiration, advice, techniques, and best methods while you are on your way to the top.
But who should be in the group? When selecting your accountability "buddies," try to choose people who will be honest, committed, and encouraging. Although Morn has always been great at nagging you, she might not be the best buddy because, to her, you will never be too fat, too ugly, or too stupid. However, that brutally honest friend may also be a poor choice because, to him, you will always be too fat, too ugly, and too stupid.
One idea is to target peers who are skilled in the area related to your goal. If your goat is to get fit by summer, your pal who is ripped beyond belief might be a good start. Another strategy is to partner with someone who might be seeking your skills--that way, you can benefit from each other while being motivated to keep each other on task. Additionally, selecting a friend with whom you have frequent interactions is important, as it is easier to lie about your progress to your cousin in London than it is to Nancy your next-door neighbor, and lying gets you nowhere fast.
So what are you waiting for? Go get buff for beach season. Find Prince Charming. Commandeer that job promotion. But whatever you do, don't try to do it alone.
Ferrazzi is the head of Ferrazzi Greenlight, a strategic consulting and professional development firm in Los Angeles. Learn more about him--and sign up for his weekly business tips--at NeverEatAlone.com.
COPYRIGHT 2008 LPI Media
COPYRIGHT 2008 Gale, Cengage Learning
