Bill Maher

The sweetest sourpuss we know, Bill Maher has often used his HBO political joust-and-jest show Real Time With Bill Matter, which starts a new season February 18, to champion gay fights and same-sex marriage. With iris political incorrectness intact, of course. Maher had so much to tell us, we couldn't print it all. But you can read the uncut extras on Advocate.com.

Do you have any survival tips for gays and lesbians during the next four years? Should we move to Canada? Or Amsterdam?

No, no, come on, calm down. First of all, it's our duty to stay here and fight, don't you think? Every battle in this country is always three steps forward and two steps back. I really don't think George Bush cares that much about gay marriage or persecuting gay people, but Karl Rove told him, "This is how you're going to win this election." Now that the election is won, I think it will be even less of an issue.

Your colleague and compatriot Arianna Huffington is due to guest-star on The L Word this season. Any chance you'll be popping up on Queer as Folk?

[Laughs] You're bad. You know what? I would consider it. I must say, I would have a hard time if there was a scene that involved me kissing another man. I don't like even seeing men kiss. But I don't ask that my opinion be made into the law, you see [chuckles], that's the fundamental difference. That's what tolerance means. It means, "OK, what you're doing is completely not my cup of tea, but please enjoy!"

But if you were to sleep with a man, who would it be?

That's a good question. [Pause] Well, it'd definitely be a good-looking one. If I'm going to do this, I'm not going to fuck it up. [Laughs] Maybe, uh, who's the kid who went out with Lindsay Lohan?

Wilmer Valderrama?

There you go. Now I'm going to run into him in a bar. But, yeah, he's like my type of woman as a man, you know, he's got that nice olive skin, he's--listen to me! [Laughs] You're going to turn me, talking queer about men! But yes, I could see him as a woman. [Laughing] Now you've done your job; you've half turned me out.

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