Just enough swish

Brett Krutzsch's essay really resonated with me ["The Gayest One," November 6]. I've often found myself wondering where the line is that we as gay men must toe. I remember once, in college, when I found out that my roommate had been telling people he believed my entire persona was "put on," that I wasn't as I appeared and made some conscious decision in my morning ritual to turn on the gay. I found this ludicrous and questioned what it was about my natural self that came off as some kind of act, some desperate attempt at attention. The truth is that I've always tried to be as authentic as I can, with myself and with others-trying to figure out the balance between my sexuality, who I am, and who society wants me to be. Why do we torture ourselves with worrying about being "too gay" while at the same time worrying that we aren't"gay enough"? If only there weren't restrictions placed on us as to where we should sit on that line and how we should go forward in the world. I appreciate knowing that I'm not the only one precariously stepping forward into the world, keeping just enough swish to keep myself happy.

CODY LARSEN, Portland, Ore.

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