What's up down there? There's no better expert to answer your puzzling panty problems than our very own Date Girl

Men's Fitness, Nov, 2003

DG, I can't stop picturing other women while having sex with my girlfriend. She's gorgeous and great in the sack, but mostly I fantasize about the girl in the next cube, my neighbor, even my ex from high school. Am I letting a healthy imagination run wild? Or is it time to have that talk with her?.

--JIM, MADISON, WI

Which talk would that be? The one where she tells you to piss off? Or the one where she informs you she often imagines it's your best friend laboring away on top of her instead of you? You seem to be under the impression that while your mind is wandering, hers is a fantasy-free zone--but in fact, her imaginings are likely to be every bit as fertile as yours. If you really want to stop visions of others from interrupting your lovemaking, maybe you should walk a mile in her mind and conjure up a nice hot three-way between her, you, and the FedEx guy.

I'm getting ready for the date in which we end the evening by choosing her place or mine. Is there one setting that will lend itself to wild, or just better, sex?

--ANONYMOUS

You think that if you buy some smelly candles, take out the trash, and maybe put the seat down, she's going to morph into some acrobatic porn slut? The truth is far simpler: Go to her house. She'll feel more comfortable on her own turf, and that comfort will manifest itself by making her more limber, more open, and possibly more likely to say yes when you want to reenact the circus scene from Backdoor Bimbos 4.

If circumstances render her place impossible, make sure your apartment is actually clean--especially the bathroom. Take it from one who pees sitting down--the girl will use your john, and she will notice if it's disgusting. Cotton (not polyester-blend) sheets are also imperative, and they'd better be clean too. If these simple instructions prove too daunting, you could always ply her with liquor till she's too blind to tell the difference between your filth-bucket and the Four Seasons.

It's part cliche, part horror story. I have huge feet, which girls notice, but a smallish mereben Like girls with padded bras, I feel I'm cheating women when I eventually get naked before them. Should I drop a few hints during foreplay, or just unzip it and rip it?

--BOBBY, HICKORY, NC

I once had a blind date with someone who felt compelled to warn me ahead of time that he had sprouted a zit on his forehead. Would I have noticed had he not told me? Doubtful. Instead, I spent the evening staring at the thing. My upper arms are flabbier than I'd like, but do you think I'd ever point that out to a date? Keep your insecurities to yourself, and spend your time in bed worrying about the depth of her pleasure rather than the length of your wiener.

Got problems? Send your questions to Date Girl, c/o Men's Fitness, 1 Park Ave, 3rd Floor, New York, NY, 10016