A deep blue December: even in a time of joyous celebration, depression can bury you. Here's how to dig yourself out

Men's Fitness, Jan, 2005 by Zachary Veilleux

Michael Norlen didn't know he was depressed until it was too late. And by then, the law office he'd worked for years to build was in a shambles. It wasn't like he sold the practice or just stopped coming in. Rather, the death of his dream practice was the result of an agonizingly slow descent into despair.

Norlen was so caught up in his debilitating day-to-day blues that at first he didn't even notice that he'd "accidentally" forgotten to return some phone calls. Before long, he'd stopped paying the bills. Then he started missing appointments with clients until, eventually, he gave up coming in to work altogether. His office filled up with unopened mail, and in the end his landlord had no choice but to evict him.

"Back then, I would do anything to avoid dealing with my clients," remembers Norlen, who lost his Kansas practice in 1998. "I'd stay at home all day, watching TV. Or I'd drive around aimlessly or just end up sitting in coffee shops. I ate, but nothing tasted good. I slept, but woke up tired. My wife and daughters were there, but they felt like strangers to me."

The saddest thing about Norlen's story is that it's not unique. According to National Institute of Mental Health estimates, there are more than 18 million men in America--5 million of whom are 40 or younger--who suffer from one form or another of depression.

Severe cases such as Norlen's afflict about 10 million Americans at any given time. Less-serious varieties, like that chronic sense of being "down-in-the-dumps," affect millions more. And in winter months--particularly in parts of the country where cold weather and short days are the norm--depression can strike up to 20% of all Americans.

Of course, those are just the cases of depression we know about, because beneath those layers of wool and harried "Season's Greetings," the problem may be even worse than previously believed. Though statistics often suggest that women are nearly twice as likely to suffer from depression as men, many experts caution that male depression is a vastly underreported phenomenon.

"Women tend to tell their friends and doctor when they aren't feeling well," says Bob Barcus, Ph.D., clinical director of the Yellow Springs Psychological Center in Ohio, "which helps us to figure out when they're depressed. Men, on the other hand, bottle up their emotions and hold things in, making it much harder to spot potential problems."

GETTIN' DOWN. Just feeling blue, however, doesn't necessarily mean you're clinically depressed. According to recent government estimates, the average American reports feeling sad or down three days a month.

So if sadness is a normal part of the human condition, how can you tell if your blue Christmas is the result of constant It's a Wonderful Life repeats, or if you really have a problem?

"Start by keeping tabs on how often you feel sad and how long that sadness lasts," says Barcus. "Any feelings that persist for more than a few days may be a sign of trouble." In addition to the length of your sad spell, Barcus advises keeping an eye out for changes in appetite or sleep patterns, irritability, anger, pessimism, indifference, feelings of guilt or worthlessness, unexplained aches and pains, and signs of social withdrawal. If even a couple of these feelings strike a chord (and you'll know on the inside if they do), if you're thinking about death, or if you are just unable to find pleasure in the things you used to love--like, say, sex--then it's probably time to ask for help.

"Guys may be reluctant to bring their depression up with a family member or doctor," says Belisa Vranich, Psy.D., a clinical psychologist in New York City and member of the MF Advisory Board. "But the important thing to keep in mind is that there's no shame in suffering from depression." There are many different roads and causes that may lead you to become depressed, she says, but the bottom line is that when you develop the condition, your body is having a hard time maintaining stable levels of a feel-good hormone called serotonin in your brain. "It's a chemical problem within your body and nothing to be embarrassed about," adds Vranich.

While drugs are an effective weapon in winning the war against depression and keeping the brain's serotonin levels high, they're not the only way to lift your mood and stave off depression. You can also:

MOVE SOUTH. For many people, the problem is not the holidays, but rather the lack of sunlight. Ten percent of sun-starved Alaska residents, for example, suffer winter seasonal depression, compared with just 4% of folks from Washington, D.C., and 1% of Floridians. "The season and the amount of light you get each day have a major psychological impact on your ability to fight depression," says Vranich, who recommends that her patients get at least 30 minutes of direct sunlight every day--before noon, when the rays have the greatest mood-boosting potential. Even a one-week trip, preferably someplace where the sun is bright and the days are long, will help you feel good weeks after you return home.