Is your personal trainer an ex-con? Sure, he's killing you on the bench, but has he killed before? Done time? Then landed at your gym?

Men's Fitness, Dec, 2003

ACCORDING TO THE New York Times the National Federation of Personal Trainers recently revealed that it has certified 300 former prison convicts as trainers in New York alone since 1966. Is yours among their chain gang? Here's a little checklist to see if your fitness instructor is selling goofballs in the shower:

[] After recommending more roughage in your diet, he volunteers to toss your salad.

[] He often refers to the weight room as the yard.

[] The one time you missed a payment, he threatened to sell you to another trainer.

[] He does sets of 6-8 but lets you off with 4 for good behavior.

[] He refers to his spotters as accomplices.

[] He jokes that the deadlift is more of a coverup than an exercise.

[] He refers to the triathlon as the Shoot, Loot, and Scoot.

[] All his buddies still live upstate.

[] He keeps promising to "work your ass out good," but you never do squats.

[] Everything he owns is attached to a rope that hangs around his neck.