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How well do you know women? Take our crash course in women's studies to become and instant expert in all things female - MF Test

Men's Fitness, March, 2004

Part 1: Do You Know Her Sexual History?

Take our quiz to find out if your lady was a little more than easy before you met her.

How to Score

One point for every "A" answer, two for every "B," three for every "C," four for every "D"

1. She has a tattoo of a:

( ) a. Dolphin, on her ankle

( ) b. Weird symbol, on the small of her back

( ) c. Palm tree or butterfly, anywhere on her body

( ) d. Welcome mat, five inches below her navel

2. On your date, she's wearing:

( ) a. A baby tee and jeans

( ) b. A baby tee and short plaid skirt

( ) c. F-me pumps and torn fishnet stockings

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( ) d. A birth-control patch, which she shows you with a winking nod

3. On the dance floor, she:

( ) a. Lets you touch her

( ) b. Lets you grind her

( ) c. Puts her hand down your pants

( ) d. Conceives your first child

4. In her nightstand, you find:

( ) a. A few loose condoms

( ) b. A box of 12 condoms

( ) c. A jumbo box of condoms, assorted sizes and flavors

( ) d. A personal note of thanks from the CEO of Trojan

5. The next morning, you suddenly recognize her from:

( ) a. Your book discussion group

( ) b. A wet T-shirt contest

( ) c. The Planned Parenthood clinic

( ) d. Girls Gone Wild on Tour, Volumes 3, 4, and 6

How'd she measure up?

5-10 points: You've got a good girl. 11-15 points: She's salty and sassy but safe and sane. 16-20 points: She could teach a sailor a thing or 10.

--MARK REMY

Part 2: She's Just Like You. But Different.

Think your lines of communication get crossed because she's an emotional, nurturing female--and you're all man? It's all in her makeup. Genetic makeup, that is.

[right arrow] She is six weeks more mature at birth [right arrow] Two years ahead at puberty [right arrow] She has an attention span that is four times greater than yours [right arrow] She makes fewer speech errors during arguments She is three times more likely to take psychiatric medication [right arrow] She is 72% more likely to develop lung cancer [right arrow] She is more susceptible to chronic headaches [right arrow] She has less muscle. One-fifth of her body weight is muscle. Yours is nearly one-half. [right arrow] She initiates 70% of all divorces [right arrow] She is 13 times less likely to score above 700 on the math SAT [right arrow] She has half the chance you do of being mentally retarded [right arrow] She will wrinkle less [right arrow] She produces half the saliva you do [right arrow] She is nearly four times less likely to masturbate e She is nearly four times less likely to commit suicide [right arrow] She runs nearly 10% slower than you do.

--TIM DAVIS

How well do you know women? Take our crash course in women's studies to become and instant expert in all things female - MF Test

Men's Fitness, March, 2004

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