Power optimism: spouting happy slogans will not brighten your outlook. On the other hand, the right kind of optimism can improve your life—from workout room to bedroom - Mental Edge - Brief Article

Studies have found that an optimistic viewpoint can bring all kinds of benefits--from better health and a longer life span to a higher level of achievement in your fitness regimen, on the job, and in your love life. But the people whose work it is to think about positive thinking are looking at it in a new light these days. To them, it's not enough to chant affirmations to yourself and expect to see things differently. For life's real problems, a more sophisticated strategy is in order.

We asked two professionals to advise us on some of the more difficult challenges a guy can face. Barry Maher, a lecturer in Santa Barbara, Calif., is the author of Filling the Glass: The Skeptic's Guide to Positive Thinking in Business.

"The positive thinking I talk about is reality-based as opposed to pixie dust," he tells us. "The person who will ultimately be more successful is not concerned about whether a glass is half empty or half full, but with trying to figure out what he has to do to fill it up."

We also spoke with Julie K. Norem, Ph.D., associate professor of psychology at Wellesley College near Boston and the author of The Positive Power of Negative Thinking. Although she believes optimism is the best policy for some situations, other circumstances call for what she terms "defensive pessimism." Here's how our two experts put their ideas to work for you.

CHALLENGE #1: IN THE GYM

Robert's attempts to build a better body are falling by the wayside. After a few months, his gains in the gym have begun to stall, and he's starting to hit the junk food again. How can he keep himself motivated?

SOLUTIONS

MAHER: Set short-term goals. "Robert might think that the `positive' answer would be to aim for a huge goal, but that almost never works. I always recommend focusing on short-term goals, with the understanding that they will eventually lead to long-term results. Losing 50 pounds is too far away--it isn't going to happen immediately, so who cares if you work out today? The shortest-term goal may be to get started on today's workout and do the best job you can in the next exercise ... then in the next one and the next one after that."

NOREM: Don't let anxiety stop you. "Given that Robert started working out, I'll assume he doesn't have a lot of anxiety at this point. The key thing, then, is not to turn this into an anxiety-producing situation that makes him feel like a failure. Robert should avoid ruminating about how he's done, and, in fact, he should take away as much choice and thought about working out as he can, because those thoughts are likely to create anxiety he doesn't need--and lead him to junk food to deaden that anxiety. He should `book' his regular workouts so he does them automatically; the workout bag should have a regular storage space; and, if possible, he should find a gym on the way to or from work. In other words, he can avoid unconstructive thinking by arranging the situation so he doesn't have to think about it very much in the first place."

CHALLENGE #2: AT WORK

Barry has been stuck in the same job for four years, without a promotion and with barely any raises. He sees people rising in the company, but doesn't know how they're doing it. He would quit, but is afraid he'd just get into the same situation somewhere else. What should he do?

SOLUTIONS

MAHER: Look at other people's needs, not just your own. "The odds are he would get into exactly the same situation again. The problem is that he doesn't see his own value--and to progress within a company you have to be able to sell yourself, your ideas and your vision. If you aren't selling, nobody is going to be buying.

"If he's down on himself, he may believe his superiors are looking down on him. But the fact is, they aren't thinking about him at all; they're worrying about themselves. If he can understand what his superiors' problems are, find out what their goals are, then he can show them how putting him in a higher position makes their lives better."

NOREM: Avoid avoidance. "Barry seems to be in some serious denial. The first thing he needs to do is find someone he can trust at work, brace himself, and ask for a ruthlessly honest assessment of his work performance. Few of us can face such criticism without anxiety, so the key is to realize that knowledge is power. But if he can deal with the anxiety, he's on the way to improving his work life.

"I do think that defensive pessimism is the best way to manage that anxiety. He should figure out a worst-case scenario--either he stays in one dead-end position or ends up in another, or worse--so he knows exactly what he needs to avoid. And he'll see that it's worth some short-term anxiety and discomfort to improve things. If the work he's doing isn't good enough, he can start working on improving it. Or if he needs to participate more in meetings and planning sessions, or just participate in small talk to make himself known, he can do some rehearsal with friends to improve those skills. But to keep himself from falling back into avoidance-type behaviors, he needs not to have the overly optimistic expectation that he's going to turn into `Mr. Dynamo' overnight."