51 things your father should have taught you: fatherly advice to improve your life - The Man's Guide

Everything you really needed to know you learned from your dad, right? Well, maybe not. Even if you were lucky--that is, if you had a warm, wise father who was around all the time and was happy to share a lifetime's worth of knowledge with you--there are still some things he may have neglected to mention, or that you weren't listening to when he did. And if you weren't so lucky, you had to pick up the information you needed from your mom, the streets, or TV lectures from Mr. Brady. So in the spirit of Father's Day, we thought it would be a good time to go over some of the dad-based knowledge you may have missed. If you happen to disagree with something--well, heck, you didn't think the old man was right all the time either, did you?

1 Keep your eye on the ball.

2 Do things the hard way sometimes--it's good practice.

3 The most important kitchen implement is a good, sharp knife.

4 Hold things so that your hand won't be in the way if the knife slips.

5 If you want to attract a woman s interest, make sure she knows that plenty of others are interested too.

6 Some bullies will respect you if you stand up to them; others are dangerous sociopaths who should be avoided altogether.

7 How to clean a fish: Okay, you've caught a nice one. Now rinse it off in fresh tap water (don't use lake or river water unless you know it's clean and free of dangerous organisms). If you aren't going to serve the fish whole, slice off the fins on both sides. Scrape the sides with a fish scaler or the dull edge of a knife to remove the scales. Cut into the vent (the small opening near the tail, where the body begins to widen) and slice the fish open all the way to the gills. Remove the entrails and gills with your hand. Check to make sure the cavity is clean and rinse it out with water. Store on fresh ice and discard excess water as the ice melts. Do a slightly messy job to prove you didn't buy salmon fillets at the A&P on the way home.

8 You can turn a loss into a win by learning something from it.

9 Stand up straight, shake hands firmly and look people in the eye.

10 No matter how good you are at your job, you won't get anywhere if nobody notices.

11 Don't go into the woods without a compass--or a satellite-controlled global positioning system.

12 Life is short. Enjoy it.

13 Become physically fit when you're young and it's still relatively easy.

14 No discomfort, no gain.

15 Don't lose track of your old friends; it's important to have people around who know where you came from.

16 Always use protection.

17 How to grill a steak over charcoal: Read the instructions that came with your grill. Make sure it's a charcoal grill, not a gas or electric one, and that it's in a well-ventilated outdoor space. (Your pappy didn't raise no dummy, did he?) For best results, light the coals with a metal chimney starter or an electric starter, both of which are available in grill stores--but here's how your dad probably did it:

Using about a half-cup of charcoal lighter fluid for each two pounds of charcoal (or whatever the grill instructions specify), stack charcoal briquettes in a pyramid in the center of the grill and cover them evenly with fluid. After about a minute, carefully light the briquettes with a long barbecue lighter or a fireplace match. (Note: Never add lighter fluid to the coals once they're already hot.) Let the briquettes burn for about half an hour until they're covered with white ash. Use tongs to spread them evenly over the bottom of the barbecue.

Next, trim the fat off a steak and rub the meat with spices (salt, pepper, garlic and a little olive oil are a good match). Grill for three minutes on one side; turn and continue cooking until it's done to your satisfaction. Make a small cut into the steak to see if it's the degree of pinkness you like. Once the steak has cooked, don't touch it with the same utensils you used when it was raw; wash everything that came in contact with the uncooked meat. Put the steak on a platter and serve, preferably on an outdoor picnic table.

18 No matter how many friends you have, you can always attract a gathering with food and good beer.

19 Your word is your bond.

20 But where the other guy is concerned, get it in writing.

21 If you want to be taken seriously as an adult, don't wear your baseball cap backward after the age of 18--unless, of course, you're a major league catcher.

22 The harder you work for something, the more you'll appreciate it--which is why you can't have your allowance until you're done with your chores.

23 Watch out how a woman treats other people; sooner or later she'll treat you that way, too.

24 Watch out how you treat your mother; sooner or later you'll treat other women that way, too.

25 Never say you can't do something well until you've practiced doing it a lot.

26 Learn basic auto repair. Anything you depend on that much you'd better know how to fix.

27 How to change a tire: Pull off the road to a safe place. (If you can't and there's danger of being hit, don't attempt to change the tire yourself--turn on the hazard lights, walk to safety, and call the highway patrol and/or the Auto Club or a nearby garage.) Put the car in park, with the parking brake on (leave manual-transmission cars in gear) and the engine off. If the surface isn't perfectly flat, put a wheel chock or large rock under the downhill side of the wheel diagonally opposed to the flat one. Get out the spare, jack and tire iron.