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Meet market: picking up ladies in the gym is hard work. Here are some tips to ensure you'll be doing more than the clean and jerk

Men's Fitness, August, 2004 by Paul S. Katz

What's the single largest grumble from gym-going males? It has nothing to do with feeling the burn, the lack of cardio machines, or the questionable stains on those complimentary shower towels. Surprise! It's how to talk to women who work out. [paragraph] "When guys are surrounded by women in spandex, it's like their brains turn off," says Michael Laitman, regional director of Equinox Fitness in Chicago. "I've seen 90-pound guys trying to bench press 250 pounds to impress some girl walking by. Then they saunter up later and, without saying hello, ask her out. It's a crash and burn every single time." [paragraph] What is it about slipping on the sweats that can transform a.normal, confident guy into someone who can't unknot his tongue? "The women are hot, sweaty, and half-dressed," explains Dariusz Garko, a personal trainer at a New York Sports Club. "Sure, they come to the gym to exercise, but most aren't opposed to meeting someone there. Getting them to change their focus to you is quite doable. It just has to be done the right way." [paragraph] As every good coach knows, the key to scoring is a great playbook. Go in without a game plan and you run the risk of being shot down. The same goes for meeting women at the gym. To help you avoid the pitfalls specific to wooing while working out, I assumed the guise of a super-stud guinea pig at three New York City health clubs, armed only with the wisdom of three distinctly different dating cornermen: a gallant gentleman, a sexually experienced woman, and an over-the-top lothario. Then I donned a white lab coat over my one-piece workout leotard and exercised my love muscles. Read on for the results of my experiment.

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The Approach: The Gentleman

The Spot: New York Sports Club, 1601 Broadway, Midtown

Point of Contact: A Kickboxing Class

It's true what they say: Love hurts.

Of course, getting smacked in the face by a woman you just met is no picnic either.

And yet, here I am, gamely attempting small talk while a 5'2", 105-pound mini--Mike Tyson with boobs continues to rain blows about my head and torso in a kickboxing class. It's billed as non-contact, but apparently my sparring partner hasn't read the brochure.

It's not easy to be nice to a lady who has just delivered several illegal shots below your belt, but according to Peter Post, author of Essential Manners for Men, it's a necessity. "Offering a compliment to a woman is a very gentlemanly thing to do," explained Post, great-grandson of manners maven Emily Post. "But in a gym setting, it's inappropriate to refer to her physical appearance. Comment on her abilities, not only to show you're a nice guy who notices things, but also that you're not solely focused on how she looks. If she responds favorably, that's a signal to move forward."

Putting the Post plan to work, I say nothing of how hot my opponent looks in her skin-tight black-and-yellow lycra, and instead casually mention how impressed I am with the swiftness of her footwork as she bobs and weaves around the punching bag. Surprisingly, she stops jabbing long enough to turn and acknowledge the flattering remark. As we circle each other over the next few rounds, I work the praise like a speed bag. By the end of the hour, she accepts my services to act as ring man at her next boxing session. Walking out the door, I'm clutching her phone number. I emerge from the club bruised and beaten but feeling like the Lord of the Ring.

Take My Advice: Nice guys don't finish last.

The Approach: The International Man of Mystery

The Spot: Equinox Fitness, 1633 Broadway, Midtown

Point of Contact: The Juice Bar

I've never really had too many problems initiating contact with a woman at a bar. Slap on the suave James Bond grin, have the bartender send over the vodka martini, and at the very least I've gotten a nod and a name. Mind you, these successes took place at bars where alcohol was being served. When the bar is "juice only" however, and the object of my desire is a raven-haired Katie Holmes look-alike, buying a shot of wheat grass isn't going to have quite the same effect.

Luckily, I have a secret weapon at my disposal: the advice of Men's Fitness columnist and sexpert Sarah Hedley. Ms. Hedley suggested I try to come across as a sophisticated, knowledgeable sort with a hint of Austin Powers--only with better teeth. "Without the social lubrication of alcohol, offering to purchase a lady's drink at the gym may seem a little too forward," advised Hedley. "Instead, mention another juice bar you know, and how that one creates the best health cocktails on the planet. Then simply leave your business card with the offer that, should said lady ever want to try out your juice, you'd be more than happy to arrange it. Just try saying it in a less smutty way."

Oblivious to the contents, benefits, and taste of anything on the menu, I try to select the manliest-sounding drink on tap: the Power Pink Pleasure. (OK, it might not sound manly, but believe me--few fruit drinks do.) The mixologist behind the counter flings strawberries, cider, and peanut butter into a blender as I lean over to engage my toned and taut neighbor. Over the whirring of the blades, I inquire as to the contents of her frothy beverage. She excitedly expounds on the virtues of protein powder, and we begin a debate on the pros and cons of herbal vitamins. As I implement Sarah's advice, my target scribbles down the address of my potion-paradise suggestion.

Meet market: picking up ladies in the gym is hard work. Here are some tips to ensure you'll be doing more than the clean and jerk

Men's Fitness, August, 2004 by Paul S. Katz

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