Magnify your sexual satisfaction: have you lost some of that loving feeling where you need it most? These six suggestions will help you resensitize your body and reach the pinnacles of pleasure again

Men's Fitness, August, 2003 by Ben Kallen

When Michigan business executive John T. hit his 30s, he began to notice something different about his sex life. No matter what activity he indulged in, it just didn't feel quite as good as it had in the past. "It was a subtle change," he says. "I remember what it was like when I was a teenager or even in my 20s, when the slightest touch would drive me crazy with pleasure." Since then, he estimates, his sensitivity has decreased by about 30%--not enough to affect what he can do in bed, but still somewhat disheartening. "I saw a urologist about it, and he couldn't find anything wrong with me," John adds. "He offered me a prescription for Viagra, but getting an erection was never my problem."

Actually, getting an erection can be an issue for guys who've lost penile sensitivity. While no one knows how prevalent the problem is, loss of penile sensation is fairly common in men who have erectile dysfunction, says David Rowland, Ph.D., a psychology professor at Valparaiso University in Indiana who has studied the effects of diminished sensitivity on male libido. Although the decline can be caused by medical conditions such as diabetes, it also occurs in men as they get older, Rowland says--usually around age 45 or 50, but sometimes quite a bit earlier.

There isn't much help out there for otherwise healthy guys who end up with less sensitivity where it matters the most--most doctors will tell you that if you can get a woody and have an orgasm, you're set. But in the interest of helping you have a lifetime of the greatest possible amount of sexual pleasure, we've searched out some ways to slow any decline, or possibly even reverse it. Follow these six mandates, and before long you could be feeling like a teenager again.

1 Protect your cardiovascular and nervous systems. If you want to experience every iota of pleasure from what's going on down below, you need to keep the sensory corridor from your skin to your brain running as smoothly as possible (see "It's in the Nerves," previous page). That means getting plenty of exercise; eating foods that are low in saturated fats, including fish, whole grains and antioxidant-rich fruits and vegetables; and not overindulging in mood-altering substances. (As a side benefit, this may also help you live longer.)

2 Check your medicine chest. A lot of medications have potential sexual side effects, and decreased sensitivity could be one of them. "Drugs that generally dull awareness to information, such as antidepressants or tranquilizers, could be a factor," says Rowland. If you're on medication and notice a loss of sexual sensation, ask your doctor if you can lower your dosage or switch to a different drug.

3 Stay off the saddle. For years we've been warning you that hard bicycle saddles can press against the nerves and blood vessels that lead to your happy place, potentially resulting in numbness and even impotence. So if you're a cyclist who's experiencing a loss in sensitivity, the first thing to do is buy a guy-friendly bike seat. In fact, says Irwin Goldstein, M.D., director of the Institute for Sexual Medicine at Boston University, if you really want to protect your nads, you should ride with a seat that doesn't have a nose (although some cyclists find these difficult to control).

According to Goldstein, straddling anything can cause harm to nerves in the area. So if you routinely sit with your legs on either side of a narrow weight bench when you work out, find a wider one and sit so your legs are together in front of you.

4 Loosen your pants. In a letter to the Canadian Medical Association Journal, an Ontario doctor noted several cases in which women wearing tight, low-cut jeans experienced symptoms of nerve damage known as paresthenia. It stands to reason that if you wear too-tight pants yourself--due either to a faulty fashion sense or unacknowledged gut expansion--you should go shopping for something more comfortable. (If you fell for last year's attempt by some retailers to make low-rider jeans a fashion must-have for men, you need more help than we can give you.) Medical journals have also noted cases of paresthenia in men who carry bulging wallets in their pockets, so get rid of some of those credit cards and leave the bulge where it belongs.

5 Learn to love foreplay. If you merely tolerate all the "before" stuff as a way of making her happy while you hurry your way toward the big bang, you could be missing out on better sensations (as well as a good review when she recounts the experience to her friends). "The more-heightened arousal a man has, the more likely the orgasm is to be extra intense," Rowland says. Which means that while the occasional quickie is fine, giving yourself more time to percolate can result in extra bliss when you finally do come to a boil.

6 Use a slower, softer touch. According to Sexual Pleasure by sex therapist Barbara Keesling, Ph.D., a "firm, fast, high-pressure" hand stroke--whether, ah, yours or hers--is a frequent cause of lost sensitivity. Keesling recommends slowing down by three-quarters, until what you're receiving is a "genital caress." The more you practice this, she says, the easier it will be to stay aroused with a lighter touch.