Carnal knowledge: 10 things most college students already know about sex … and 10 things they should know - Sex on Campus

Men's Fitness, Sept, 1998 by Joy Davidson

10 things most college students already know about sex ... and 10 things they should know

The majority of students in college today know how babies are made, how to protect themselves from the dangers of sex and, of course, how to rein in their desires. But even in our sex-drenched culture, have they been taught anything that helps them understand their erotic natures? Anything, to use a woefully outdated term, about making love?

Not even close.

By the time teenagers enter college these days, they're surprisingly sophisticated about some aspects of sex and disappointingly naive about others. They've grown up surrounded by sexual images in the media mixed with constant warnings that sex is inappropriate, immoral and quite possibly deadly.

Is it any wonder that many college men and women, suddenly free of parental chaperoning, rush headlong into campus sex with the abandon of starved dogs let loose in a butcher shop? And is it really any surprise that a lot of what they already know about sexuality is forgotten in their rush to sample the feast?

So while today's worldly young adults could teach their elders a thing or two about certain aspects of sexuality, there are still plenty of things they have to learn. The following items are based on interviews and surveys of students around the country. Some of them will surprise you, however far removed you are from your college years.

What they know

1. Sex can be dangerous. College students are pretty savvy about the horrors of sex. These days, sex-negative messages are drummed into kids' heads from the time they're old enough to See Dick Run. They know sex can result in unwanted pregnancy or awful diseases. But having a keen awareness of the misery sex can cause other people does not necessarily mean that the majority of college students are safe or conscientious when it comes to making their own choices.

2. Men should wear condoms when having sex. They know this, all right - and yet knowing what one is supposed to do and actually doing it are two entirely different matters. In fact, fewer than half of sexually active students report using condoms every time they have intercourse.

3. You always need to use birth control when having sex. Again, students know they ought to do this, but that doesn't mean they're consistent about protecting themselves. More than 35 percent of students sometimes forgo all birth-control methods.

4. Sex is fun; it feels good. If you're tempted to respond to this one with a simple "Duh," hang on a minute. Given the mind-boggling negativity surrounding sex in today's society, it can seem like an incredible awakening when a young person discovers that sex can be pure, extravagant pleasure. This can be a wonderful thing; it can also lead to some students going overboard and making poor choices.

5. Alcohol can make sex easier. This is a distinctly male impression. But it goes beyond the erroneous (and possibly felonious) idea that if a guy gets a girl drunk, she'll more readily agree to have sex with him. It also speaks to the fact that when a guy is intoxicated, he feels bolder and braver, so asking for sex gets easier. And, as in any numbers game, the more tickets you play, the more likely you are to get lucky.

6. Sex absolutely must be consensual. College students do realize that no means no - although a small percentage persist beyond that boundary. In one study, close to 8 percent of men admitted to forcing sex on a partner. Almost a third of women say they've been victims of sexual coercion. So do 11 percent of males.

Even among the vast majority of students who honor consent, plenty of them still look for loopholes. A little less than a third of men and 14 percent of women say they've lied about themselves to get someone into bed. Women advise their male peers to scrap the falsehoods and just be more patient. As one female student commented, "Women are likely to change the way we feel about everything, so just hang in there. I'm not saying that no doesn't mean no. I'm saying that if a guy isn't a total asshole, it might just mean 'wait.'"

7. It isn't difficult to satisfy a man. Men know how to get themselves off. Women know how to get men off. Men know how to get men off. As one 20-year-old male said, "What do I know about sex? I know my penis goes there." As far as the basics are concerned, all students know that men don't require much more than that.

8. Women's sexuality is different from men's. Most students have a vague sense that women respond to extended foreplay, and that they're often more orgasmic through methods other than intercourse. But when it comes to experience with specific and varied techniques, or real comfort handling the female body, a lot of males and females are still groping in the dark.

9. There's more kink out there than most people think. College students today are familiar with all kinds of sexual diversity: homosexuality, bisexuality, threesomes, S&M, bondage, the works. Even those who haven't experimented with any of these variations - or don't care to - are inclined to view them merely as "not for me," instead of as some kind of bizarre perversion.