Colcothar from AKA - Short Story

Literary Review, Fall, 2003 by Jean Lamore

Everything is subject to analysis. Decisions are almost impossible to take. This fellow who's been standing curbside for three days, trying to analyse why he wants to cross the street. Finally, yes, the whole world's now run by a team of psychiatrists. Entire nations are considered as patients. Search early history to understand just where things went wrong. What nation suffered childhood traumatism which it will, in turn, perpetrate?

Fire seems to fulfill the metabolic properties which define life. Eukaryotic organisms present very similar chemical reactions to those of combining organics with molecular oxygen which sustain fire. To a certain degree, fire is self-replicating.

Trap gases in clathrate.

Where's my gun moll? Using pearl-handled revolver, I draw from the hip and shoot a big black-bellied bustard. No vagrant resident, but thoroughly indigenous which shows you just how accommodating the Paris area has become to this warm weather fowl. Stomach full of termites; count 13 scorpions and 210 beetles. When approaching I hear aggressive voice and growling call. Advertisement is short wheezy rising whistle, hiccup and cork-popping "quok." Has come north with the rains. Find nest near anthill with handsome clutch of brown blotching eggs. Two females take wing. Dispersed lek system likely. No omelet. Break and suck dry as would any opportunist. Excellent flesh, this outarde. A feast for ten of us. Oily meat quite like fat goose.

We go deep for many reasons, not the least of which is the capture of giant squid. Quantities of ink for brewing the most saught after black alcohol. "Abyss/Kiss." Jet-black lips on the label. Avoid arctic smoke. If I'm hounded, grant me grith.

I'm contemplating returning to America, but am put off by my Nigerian Consular Advisory Warning to Travelers:

Violent crime committed by persons in police and military uniforms, as well as by ordinary criminals, is an acute problem. Use of public transportation throughout the United States, including taxis, is dangerous and should be avoided. American airlines have aging fleets and our Nigerian Embassy in New York is concerned that maintenance and operational procedures may be inadequate to ensure passenger safety.

Business, charity and other scares target foreigners worldwide and pose danger of financial loss. Recipients pursuing such fraudulent offers risk physical harm if they come to America. Persons contemplating business deals are strongly urged to check with the Nigerian Department of Commerce or the Nigerian Department of State before providing any information, making any financial commitments or travelling to America. "Sting" targets foreigners, including Nigerian citizens. Scares usually involve phony offers of either outright money transfers or lucrative sales or contracts with promises of large commissions or up-front payments. Alleged deals frequently invoke the authority of one or more ministries or offices of American government and may even cite by name the support of American government official. The apparent use in some scares of actual government stationery, seals, and offices is grounds for concern that individual American officials may be involved in these activities.