Princess, won by a bull - Short Story

Literary Review, Spring, 2002 by Taban Lo Liyong

But nobody had known how he had prepared for this ordeal. In a remarkable way. For, his father's kingdom was organised in a most amazing way.

As soon as he had heard about the princess, he had felt Desire welling up in his inside. It started like a small bubble from the bottom of the sea and then grew and grew as it moved up to the surface. By the time it had reached the prince's jugular, it was ready to be belched out. So, he belched out the words, "Desire for the princess." Then he'd called his age-mates together, and told them, that he had Desire for the new princess's hand in marriage. Could they please dissolve themselves into a Think Tank and come up with what to do and how to go about it. For, at the same time as he had Desire for the princess, Desire's youngest brother Fear was reducing his appetite by insistently telling him that he did not want to lose the princess and his personality by him being offered Failure instead.

The Think Tank came out with this. "The test, oh, prince is difficult. And nobody can succeed in overcoming it." The test, the Think Tank found out, consisted in being subjected to mosquito bites. "And we all must slap and scratch, when bitten by mosquito. So if we want to succeed, this is what the prince must do: slap himself but do so deliberately." The prince must practice slapping himself in the various parts of his body. Do it deliberately. As if he is demonstrating the various features of his favourite bull. The rest of the pantomime, the prince would have to improvise by himself as the situation develops.

After the next three nights they had already arrived. Their presence was announced. They were received. Not with much stir. The princess was not at all impressed. The king hoped the new prince would also lose. But let 09.00 p. m. come. And the prince was told:

Dear Valiant Prince, dear worthy son-in-law, welcome to the test of heroes. To repeat the rules: You are going to sit on that chair and continue sitting on it; you will unless you slapped the mosquitoes that pester us in this area. Should you persevere till morning, then oh, descendant from the worthy loins of your ancestors, the princess is yours.

"May I beg for a boon, though?" said the prince. "In our area, we pass away time by talking about our favourite bulls. For, dear Hosts, you have never seen the cattle we have, and their various bodily markings. I therefore beg to be allowed to talk about my favourite bull, cow, and calf."

The king's courtiers thought this was a small matter. Why not let the man talk away about his bull? Besides, what are bulls, cows, calves? Let him talk, and we also hear. He was given the go ahead to talk about his favourite bull.

"My bull, dear Hosts, is a marvellous beast that lives with us at home like your dog lives with you at home. But at the back of our bull, there is a thing called a hump--right here, here (slap) at his back. That is one difference between our bull and your dog.

"But, dear Hosts, above the bull's ears, there are two protuberances, on either side of the head. On the left here (slap) there is a horn which grows and curls up, almost meeting the other ear, which also starts growing from here (slap) above the ear.