From 'Behind the Scenes in Eden' - A Farce in Two Acts - play - excerpt - The Literature of Democratic Spain: 1975-1992

Literary Review, Spring, 1993 by Jaime Salom, Marion Peter Holt

ACT ONE - SCENE 2

When the lights comes up, it is night. Lili is eating an apple and reading like mad by candlelight. She's using glasses, as everyone does when reading these books. A few moments later ADAM enters.

ADAM - Still studying?

Lili - What else can I do? Angel is a dear, but he doesn't give very clear answers. By the way, where is he now?

ADAM - Struggling with the animals. Trying to keep them lined up and going where he says, as if they were satellites. I've brought you some flowers.

Lili - Thank you. I pulled up this carrot for you.

ADAM - It's stupendous. (Pointing to the books) Have you learned anything?

Lili - A lot of things. Now I understand why God is so famous. What a talent! Everything fits perfectly, like an incredible puzzle that he puts together piece by piece. He must be unique!

ADAM - You're an intellectual.

LILI - If we're going to live here all our lives, I want to be informed. Doesn't it interest you?

ADAM - I find reading very boring.

LILI - This invention of man and woman can work marvelously well, you know, but it's so carefully equilibrated that when one of them tugs the cord too hard, the whole thing can be wrecked in a moment.

ADAM - Uh-huh.

LILI - And it would be a Pity, because we'd all be losers. Fortunately God has created an aid called love.

ADAM - Love. That's a nice-sounding word. "Good night, love." "Do you want to take a bath with me, love?" "Are you hungry, love?" So, what does it mean?

LILI - It would take a long time to explain. Giving to each other, receiving, offering, respecting ... Do you understand?

ADAM - Not too well.

LILI - The male loves the female and the female loves the male - Although that's not always completely clear cut. There are exceptions.

ADAM - How can you recognize love when you see it?

LILI - Well, it seems that lovers hold hands, sigh, look into each other's eyes in the moonlight, and other more complicated things I'll tell you about.

ADAM (Taking her hand) - Listen, do you know that looking into your eyes in the moonlight makes me feel sort of ... speechless?

LILI - Yes, Adam, it does make you feel sort of speechless. (They both sigh.)

ADAM (Breaking the mood, very euphoric) - Now what about the other things?

LILI - I knew you'd get around to asking sooner or later.

ADAM - They must be sensational.

LILI - Yes, they must be.

ADAM - At this moment, I've having some very strange reactions.

LILI - I am too, in my own way.

ADAM - Have you managed to find out how all this fits together?

LILI - I've even taken some notes in case we run into a snag.

ADAM - Maybe I could like certain kinds of books.

LILI - Adam, kiss me.

ADAM - Kiss. Another nice word. (LILI kisses him.)

LILI - The world's first kiss. Don't you find it stirring?

ADAM (Kissing her repeatedly like a madman) - The world's second kiss, the third, the fourth, and the world's fifth kiss!

LILI - We're the luckiest couple in History, because we aren't imitating anybody; we invent it all for ourselves: kissing, love ...

ADAM - Taking baths ... I'm happy, happy, happy!

LILI - And for the first time we're going to copulate.

ADAM - Do what?

LILI - That...

ADAM - Oh, of course, that ...

LILI - If you don't like the idea ...

ADAM - Of course I like the idea, yes I do ... but would you lend me your notes?

LILI - And the glasses so you can see better. (He looks at the notes.)

ADAM - How awful!

LILI - It may shock you at first, but you'll get used to the idea right away.

ADAM - And some idea! I'd never have thought of it in a hundred years. (With slowly growing enthusiasm) It's fascinating, it's exciting ... it's colossal! Go on, stretch out, beautiful, I'm ready.

LILI - What do you mean "stretch out"?

ADAM - Put down your zipper and lie there quietly on the ground so that I can see if I've got the first step right.

LILI - And where do you plan to be?

ADAM - Well, on top, of course. On top of you.

LILI - And me on the bottom?

ADAM - Naturally.

LILI - Naturally, my foot. It's no more natural than any other way.

ADAM - Just shut up and do what I say.

LILI - Ha, ha, ha, harah, harah ...

ADAM - What?

LILI - Or if you prefer, dippydippy, dippydippy... (She gives him a Bronx cheer.)

ADAM - Speak English. I don't know any foreign languages.

LILI - In matters of love there are no generals and no soldiers. We both have the same rank. We're equals ... Anything else would be dependence, obedience, whatever you want to call it, but not love.

ADAM - Look, don't get me angry. You and I will never be equals. I'm stronger and taller than you.

LILI - Ah, if it's a question of size ... but I'm better educated.

ADAM - I weigh more.

LILI - I'm cleverer.

ADAM - And I'm more macho!

LILI - Then I'm more womanly!

ADAM - I'll play football ... as soon as they invent the ball.

LILI - I'll sew on buttons as soon as they invent thread.

ADAM (Coming down from the tree) - Nobody can reason with you.

LILI (Doing the same) - Silly, this argument could go on for centuries. Let's forget about competitions and be happy. Confrontations can turn everything into hell.

ADAM (Reacting after a short pause) - You think you're very smart, don't you? Three little words, a smile, and you settle everything to suit you.