Judo with Words: An Intelligent Way to Counter Verbal Attacks - Review

Adolescence, Summer, 2001

BERCKHAN. Barbara. Judo with Words: An Intelligent Way to Counter Verbal Attacks. London: Free Association Books, 2001 (distributed by International Specialized Book Services). 142pp. $25.00 (p).

This is a handbook for verbal self-defense. Berckhan describes techniques of protecting and defending oneself effectively in challenging communication situations and how to shorten hostile interchanges and to stop provocations. Berckhan explains how to prevent verbal attacks in the first place. One of the essential features of the art of self-defense is a powerful appearance. since preferred victims of verbal attacks are those who appear to lack personal power. On the verbal level, people who appear unassertive often tend to excessively apologize and belittle themselves and use words like "maybe," somehow," or "possibly," which make their statements sound more tentative. The author draws on two main sources: insights gained from the training she gives as a communications consultant, and principles of Asian martial ar ts, which she then applies to verbal self-defense. The result is a "verbal judo," which aims at fending off an attack and restoring peace rather than continuing the fight. The book concludes with a training program that is designed to help the reader internalize the strategies that are presented. The book gives constructive alternatives to being tongue-tied and feeling powerless in the face of aggression; teaches how to shorten angry interchanges and how to gracefully exit an argument; shows how to give a verbal riposte without getting emotionally too involved; suggests a number of possible ways of disarming an opponent and putting tormentors in their place; and shows how to build an invisible mental "shield" that serves to protect our integrity.