Sex-related communication with mothers and close friends during the transition to university

Journal of Sex Research, Feb, 2007 by Eva S. Lefkowitz, Graciela Espinosa-Hernandez

When people imagine college students talking about sex and sex-related topics, they are likely to picture them talking to their friends. However, although a great deal is known about college students' sex-related communication with their mothers, much less is known about such communication with friends. In the current study, we examine sex-related communication with mothers and with close friends, with the specific goals of understanding (a) differences in the frequency and quality of communication with mothers compared with close friends, (b) gender differences in sex-related communication, (c) how communication with mothers and close friends relates to sexual experience and beliefs. This study therefore provides both descriptive information about the experiences of sex-related communication for new college students and a better understanding of how this communication is associated with behaviors and beliefs.

Christopher (2001) examined parent and peer socialization of sexuality from a symbolic interactionist perspective, arguing that as individuals reach late adolescence, parental influence lessens and peers become more important. He also argues (as we have elsewhere; see Lefkowitz & Gillen, 2005) that late adolescent/emerging adult sexuality includes not only behaviors but also attitudes and beliefs. Christopher argued that sexual beliefs at this stage are multidimensional and complex and include dimensions such as conservative/ permissive attitudes about sex and beliefs about instrumentality. On the basis of this perspective, we predict that students in their 1st year at university will have more frequent and better quality communication with close friends than with mothers and that their sexual experiences and beliefs will be more closely associated with communication with friends than with mothers. In this study, we focus on communication in the past 3 months because we are interested in recent contextual experiences. Clearly, earlier experiences of communication with parents during childhood and adolescence are likely to be associated with sexual behaviors and beliefs in the college years (e.g., Lehr, DiIorio, Dudley, & Lipana, 2000). However, in the current article we are specifically interested in recent experiences of communication and their association with behaviors and beliefs.

Sex-Related Communication With Mothers and Friends

Research suggests that the most frequently discussed topics between mothers and adolescents or emerging adults are sexual dangers and safety, dating and sexual behavior, pregnancy, abstinence, and menstruation (girls only; DiIorio, Kelley, & Hockenberry-Eaton, 1999; Feldman & Rosenthal, 2000; Pistella & Bonati, 1998). Least commonly discussed with mothers are wet dreams, solitary sexual activity, and birth control (boys only; DiIorio et al., 1999; Feldman & Rosenthal, 2000). Similar to conversations with parents, topics discussed most frequently with friends are dating, behaviors and feelings, and reproductive health (DiIorio et al., 1999; Lefkowitz, Boone, & Shearer, 2004; Pistella & Bonati, 1998). Topics less frequently discussed with friends are HIV, rape, and abstinence. (Lefkowitz et al., 2004).

High quality sex-related communication has been conceptualized as conversations in which both partners feel relatively open, comfortable, and are not avoidant or overly embarrassed/negative in discussing these topics (DiIorio et al., 1999; Feldman & Rosenthal, 2000; Lefkowitz et al., 2004). Research suggests that quality of communication is generally better with mothers than with fathers and that adolescents are more comfortable discussing sex-related topics with friends than with parents (DiIorio et al., 1999; Feldman & Rosenthal, 2000). Adolescents and emerging adults feel relatively comfortable and open discussing sex-related topics with friends (DiIorio et al., 1999; Kallen, Stephenson, & Dougherty, 1983; Lefkowitz et al., 2004).

Fewer studies have compared adolescents' and emerging adults' communication with mothers versus with friends or peers. As suggested by Christopher (2001), findings reveal that both male and female youth discuss sex-related topics with their friends more than with their parents (Handelsman, Cabral, & Weisfeld, 1987; Papini, Farmer, Clark, & Snell, 1988; Rozema, 1986), although during mid-adolescence, sex-related communication with mothers may be more common than with friends (DiIorio et al., 1999). What remains unanswered, however, is whether these differences in frequency are specific to certain topics or whether they exist across all sex-related communication. That is, differences between mothers and friends may be due to the topics most frequently discussed with friends, such as intercourse and dating, but may not generalize to other topics, such as abstinence or sexual dangers. Understanding these partner differences may help to better describe the recent experiences of 1st-year college students.

Gender Differences in Sex-Related Communication

Girls and young women generally report more frequent sex-related communication with their parents than do boys and young men (Feldman & Rosenthal, 2000; Fisher, 1987; Raffaelli, Bogenschneider, & Flood, 1998). It remains unclear whether these gender differences are topic specific. There are also known gender differences in the quality of sex-related communication with parents. Girls tend to report feeling more comfortable and open discussing these topics with mothers than do boys (DiIorio et al., 1999; Kotchick, Dorsey, Miller, & Forehand, 1999).