Involuntary Celibacy: A Life Course Analysis - Statistical Data Included

Journal of Sex Research, May, 2001 by Denise Donnelly, Elisabeth Burgess, Sally Anderson, Regina Davis, Joy Dillard

Most industrialized societies have normative expectations about sexual transitions, assuming that persons will begin to date in their teens or early twenties, experiment with and initiate sex at some point thereafter, and eventually marry or partner in a long-term relationship which includes an active sexual component (Gagnon & Simon, 1973; Thorton, 1990). As people reach late adulthood, ironically, the expectation is that interest in sexual activity will level off or decline (Marsiglio & Donnelly, 1991). For the majority of persons in Western societies, dating, sexual experimentation, and mating take place sequentially, with individuals progressing from one to the other in a somewhat linear fashion. Moreover, although the timing and duration of these initial transitions may vary, the majority of adults are presumed to have completed these life events, at least once, by the mid to late twenties. This can be thought of as the normative sexual trajectory. Persons (unless celibate for religious reasons, handicapped, or chronically ill) are expected to follow this trajectory and remain sexually active for major portions of their adult lives. Expectations for regular adult sexual activity are reinforced by a variety of social agents, including family members, peers, and the media. Individuals use these normative expectations to measure the progress of their own lives, judging themselves and others as "on time" or "off time" by these standards (Hagestad, 1996).

In contemporary Western societies, the timing of many life transitions has become less important, as people marry, divorce, remarry, and have children at increasingly diverse intervals (Coontz, 1992). In these cases, being off time has few consequences. In other areas, such as sexual activity, cultural expectations seem to be more rigid and have greater consequences (Lawrence, 1996). With the exception of those who choose celibacy, adults who have never had sex, or who go for long periods of time without a partner, may begin to feel off time in regards to sexuality. Once the person begins to feel different from others, it may become more difficult to interact and establish intimacy, and chances for sexually intimate relationships may be reduced. This may be particularly true when the person wants a sexual relationship and feels that everyone else his or her age is more experienced at and knowledgeable about sexual matters.

The same dynamic probably takes place with partnered involuntary celibates. They are expected to have sex with their partners, except when the partner is ill, disabled, or late in pregnancy (Donnelly, 1993). Thus, they may begin to feel off time and experience themselves as different from other partnered persons. The longer the relationship goes without sex, the harder it may be to reestablish this component. The norm may become sexual inactivity, and research suggests that the longer it lasts, the longer it is likely to last (Donnelly, 1993).

In summary, we theorize that involuntary celibacy is more than one event, it is a combination of the timing, sequencing, and duration of sexual behavior. A life course perspective suggests that persons who become off time in regards to life transitions involving sexuality begin to feel as though they are no longer traveling the same path as their peers (Hagestad 1996). Once this happens, it may be difficult (but not impossible) to conform to the normative sexual trajectories that their age peers are following.