Cybersex: the Dark Side of the Force. - book review

Journal of Sex Research, Nov, 2001 by Tina M. Timm

Cybersex: The Dark Side of the Force. Edited by Al Cooper. Philadelphia: Brunner-Routledge, 2000, 149 pages. Cloth, $19.95.

In Cybersex: The Dark Side of the Force, Cooper edits a much-needed, basic overview of sex addiction on the Internet. Given that sex is reported to be the most frequently searched topic on the Internet (Freeman-Longo & Blanchard, 1998), it is a clinical area that can no longer be ignored. In one month alone (April 1998), 15% of the online population, or roughly nine million people, accessed one of the top five "adult" web sites (Cooper, Scherer, Boies, & Gordon, 1999). Fortunately, most of these people do not have a problem with sexual addiction. However, there are many people who do and still more who are at risk to develop one.

In Chapter 1, Cooper, Delmonico, and Burg report findings from one of the few substantial quantitative examinations of compulsive sexual addiction on the Internet. While only 1% of respondents met criteria for a full-blown cybersex compulsion, another 17% had a strong indication of problems with their sexual behavior. Therefore, these people are at great risk for developing a cybersex addiction. In addition to information about the number of people potentially experiencing cybersex addiction, the authors also provide descriptive characteristics of users in problem categories.

In Chapter 2, Schneider gives a comprehensive overview of the devastation felt by partners of cybersex addicts. Using qualitative survey results, this chapter does a good job of sensitizing the reader to the intense pain experienced by partners. Contrary to what some people naively believe, virtual affairs are often just as painful, if not more painful, than traditional types of affairs. So, it was not surprising that the partner's addiction was cited as a major factor in subsequent separations and divorce, and the betrayed partners frequently indicated that the online affair lowered their self-esteem and fostered a wide range of negative emotions (e.g., rejection, abandonment, shame, jealousy, anger, etc.).

By now, most therapists have encountered this issue in their practice in some way; either the addict themselves, or people in close relation to the addict. If a therapist has not, it could be because he or she is just not asking the right questions. Perhaps this is because, even though the prevalence of the problem has increased dramatically, the training for therapists in this area has not. Consequently, therapists sometimes adopt a "don't ask, don't tell" policy. The addiction remains undetected because of a lack of assessment skills in this area and possibly anxiety about what the therapist will do if he or she does find out there is a problem!

As a resource for therapists willing to explore the issue, this book contains three solid chapters on assessment and treatment issues. Schwartz and Southern skillfully discuss how the fantasy world of cybersex is a dissociative experience and could represent a reenactment of past conflicts or trauma. Young and colleagues tackle the treatment issues related to online infidelity and the implications for marital treatment. Orzack and Ross review inpatient and outpatient treatment strategies and try to answer the question of whether "virtual sex" should be treated like other sex addictions. They report that one of the difficulties is that the goal of treatment is not necessarily abstinence (never using a computer again). Since computers are, and will continue to be, integrated into the personal and professional lives of clients, treatment needs to foster a healthy relationship with the computer versus complete avoidance.

Although Freeman-Longo's chapter on the dangers of children and teens being exposed to an increasing amount of adult-oriented material online is informative and well written, it seems somewhat out of place in an edited book that is focused primarily on cybersex addiction in adults. His prevention tips are important and can certainly reduce cybersex addiction in the future; however, they may be more appropriate in another forum, one focusing on prevention or specifically on monors.

The book is comprised of seven chapters that cover a wide variety of topics related to sexual addiction on the Internet. There is a good balance between research, theory, and practice. I found that the subtitle of this book is somewhat misleading. "The Dark Side of the Force" implies that this book focuses only on the negative side of sex and the Internet. In actuality, the book does a good job of not overgeneralizing and characterizing all Internet sex as "bad" or implying that everyone using the Internet for sexual purposes has a problem. For example, in Chapter 5 Putnam and Maheu discuss how the same aspects of the Internet that supported the addiction can now be used to help heal from it.

Cooper and colleagues have hypothesized that there are three aspects of the Internet that make it ripe for individuals to get lured into the world of cybersex. Referred to as the Triple-A Engine (accessibility, affordability, and anonymity), the Internet has connected people to worlds they would have never previously explored. These same characteristics make it a useful medium for treatment. Support and treatment resources are easily accessible (24 hours a day, 7 days a week, from virtually any location). For instance, chat rooms for people in recovery can replace the chat rooms that once fueled the sexual addiction. These support services and resources are available for very little money (usually only the monthly online fees). Additionally, people are more likely to seek help for a shame-based issue, especially in the beginning, when they can remain (relatively) anonymous. The authors are quick to point out that these Internet options are most successful when used in addition to traditional individual, couple, and group counseling services.