I have "a mommy, a daddy, and a Barbara": the psychology of parenting as a lesbian or a gay man - Book Review

Journal of Sex Research, Nov, 2002 by Beverly R. King

The Gay Baby Boom: The Psychology of Gay Parenthood. By Suzanne M. Johnson and Elizabeth O'Connor. New York: New York University Press, 2002, 193 pages. Paper, $18.50; cloth, $55.00.

Many lesbians and gay men have had children in the context of heterosexual relationships (often marriage) prior to coming out; others have become parents through adoption, fostering, and the use of alternative reproductive strategies. Since the 1980s there has been a sharp rise in the number of gay men and lesbians who have become parents, leading to a labeling of the phenomenon as a "gayby" boom, or gay and lesbian baby boom.

In The Gay Baby Boom: The Psychology of Gay Parenthood, developmental psychologists Suzanne Johnson and Elizabeth O'Connor report the results of the National Study of Gay and Lesbian Parents, conducted in 1999 and 2000. In their survey research, which included both quantitative and qualitative components, Johnson and O'Connor asked 415 gay and lesbian parents about their concerns, perceived areas of strength, openness in their communities, parenting philosophies and child-rearing practices, and their adult relationships.

Although there have been several national surveys of gay and lesbian individuals and couples (e.g., Partner's Task Force National Survey of Lesbian and Gay Couples), this is the first one of its kind focusing on gay and lesbian parents. The 415 parents surveyed represent 256 families from 34 states and the District of Columbia. As is common in research on gay and lesbian parenting, more lesbian mothers (336) than gay fathers (79) volunteered to participate. This may be due to the fact that the sample included only custodial parents and, for previously married individuals, fathers are still less likely to receive custody than are mothers. Another possible explanation is that there may be fewer gay fathers than lesbian mothers in the nation, or the sample may not be representative of the true proportion of gay and lesbian parents in this country.

This short, very easy-to-read book is organized into two parts. The first begins with a review of the research and theory in developmental psychology on variables associated with good parenting. The next few chapters contain a comprehensive review of psychological studies from the 1970s to the present that have focused on gay- and lesbian-headed families. The authors point out the similarities and the differences that have been found between heterosexual and homosexual parents. In general, gay or lesbian and straight parents are more similar than they are dissimilar. When differences are found, lesbian and gay parents seem to have advantages in several areas related to positive child outcomes. For example, gay and lesbian parents, when compared with heterosexual parents, tend to be more responsive to their children, more child oriented, and more egalitarian in their sharing of the household workload between partners. The authors also discuss obstacles in studying a group with potentially limited visibility as well as the limitations of past research on gay and lesbian parents and their children.

In the final section of Part 1, Johnson and O'Connor describe the research design and methodology used in their own study, and the major findings from the survey asking about respondents' transition to and adjustment to parenting. The majority of the sample consisted of families that had been formed within gay or lesbian relationships, but also included families that began in the context of a heterosexual relationship and families that were blended (children from both heterosexual and lesbian or gay relationships). One of the findings concerning parents' transition to parenthood was that lesbian couples tended to overwhelmingly prefer anonymous donor insemination as a route to parenthood contrasted with other techniques such as adoption. There seemed to be little difficulty in lesbian couples who used artificial insemination in deciding which of the two partners would actually bear the child; one of the two typically had a greater desire to do so. Families of gay men were much more likely to be formed through adoption. Interestingly, "both gay men and lesbians anticipated more disapproval from their families [about becoming parents] than they ultimately faced" (p. 110).

In Part 2, the authors report results that address gay and lesbian parents' beliefs about parenting (concerns and advantages for their families, aspirations, and perceived treatment by professionals) and life within gay- and lesbian-headed families. Most gay and lesbian parents in this study voiced concerns about raising a child in a gay- or lesbian-headed family, most often that their children would be teased. However, they also thought their children would benefit in some way by being a part of their non-heterosexual households. The most commonly cited potential benefit was that the children would be more accepting of differences in others because of being raised in a family perceived as different.