Take control in your sales letters - business writing for sales personnel - Folio: Plus - Brief Article

Folio: The Magazine for Magazine Management, Oct 15, 1993

It's astounding how difficult it is for some salespeople to communicate in writing, says "word doctor" Don Austermann. "Salespeople aren't dumb," explains Chappaqua, New York-based Austermann, formerly director of communications for McGraw-Hill's Business Week. "They do very well face-to-face and on the phone.

But when it comes to follow-up letters, it sometimes seems as if they were written by an eight-year old." Good sales letters are lively, bright, friendly and conversational, he says. Among the most common problems with sales letters, according to Austermann, are trite phrases, such as "Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to meet with me," or "I enjoyed having lunch with you." The opening sentence, he advises, should act like a story's headline--stopping the reader and making him or her want to read more. Then there is the "I" factor, where salespeople put too much emphasis on their own product and not enough on its benefits to the advertiser. The third most common problem he sees is overly long letters: Austermann believes in the single-page sales letter. Information concerning ad rates and circulation--what he calls "freight"--belongs in a separate proposal or on an accompanying sheet. Long, dense paragraphs full of numbers also cause people to lose interest, he explains. The fourth problem is the lack of a strong conclusion. The end of a letter shouldn't be weak or inconclusive, such as, "If I can be of further assistance, please don't hesitate to call." That's not wrong, Austermann says, but there are much better ways to end a letter. If you want an appointment, for example, write, "I'll call you at 'x' time to make an appointment." Always stay in control, Austermann says.