Some fast foods are more filling than others - Back blast & other hot gases

Shooting Industry, Nov, 2002 by Commander Gilmore

Here's an absolute, 100 percent cure for recidivism, and a lesson for cops everywhere Sometimes, no matter how badly you want to catch a fleeing crook, you really should break off the pursuit before innocents -- like yourself -- get hurt.

Costa Rican cops recently ended a pursuit when a murder suspect they were chasing jumped into a river. It's not that they didn't want to get wet. They didn't want to be part of the menu. Oswaldo Martinez, or "lunch" as he's now known, fled into Costa Rica from Panama after killing a judge in a holdup. If he was looking for southern (South American) hospitality, he didn't find it. The Costa Rican cops snatched him up like laundry and sacked him for deportation back to Panama.

Oswaldo, disappointed at the reception, busted loose and hotfooted it for the border at the River Terraba, with gendarmes in hot pursuit. Diving into the river, Oswaldo stroked for the opposite bank while going "Nyah, nyah, nyah," at his pursuers, who slammed on the leather-brakes at river's edge.

Any of the locals could have told Oswaldo about the inadvisability of swimming in the Terraba. Of course, he didn't stop to ask. Our yummy-treat was about halfway across when a monster crocodile rose from the bottom, took Oswaldo in one mega-munch, and dragged him down for The Big Spin.

Let that be a lesson for police departments everywhere. Smart cops always stay dry, especially in Croc Country. Dumb thugs become obscure.