Then use a carb-cleaner flush to finish the job

Shooting Industry, Oct, 1997 by Commander Gilmore

Two of these Tidy-Masters came to mind when our anonymous contributor was thinking over the "stupidest stunts by customers." Back when he ran a gun shop in Peoria, Ill., he thought he'd seen and heard 'em all - but not quite. It seems he had two different customers bring their riflescopes in for repair. Both had a I-think-I-sorta-messed-up half-grin, half-idiotic look stenciled on their faces.

In their eagerness to thoroughly clean their scopes, they had run cleaning rods through the tubes. Sure does mess up a good set of cross hairs. Magnification is a bit off, too. It does make a convenient storage area for ear plugs and that all-important power energy bar.

Remember, these are the same folks giving "expert" advice to your customers.

Stupid Crook Of The Month

We all know about the old saying, "If at first you don't succeed," right? Well, what about "If at first you do succeed?" In the world of crime, it might not be real smart to re-visit past victories.

Police in Fort Collins, Colo., provide us a good illustration of this. They arrested Steven E. Peterson, 32, and charged him with robbing the same 7-Eleven store twice in one day. He might have gotten away with those two heists and more, but screwed up when he told the clerk that he'd be back in a few hours to nick him for a third time, as soon as there was more cash in the till.

Investigating officers then kinda lolly-gagged about the place, and sure enough, back came Stevie the Wonder to attempt a triple-header. His "it ain't me" alibi didn't quite fit, but the handcuffs were snug.

Sorry, We Only Car-Jack Automatics

A 25-year old woman in La Palma, Calif., figured she could kiss her year-old Acura Integra goodbye. When she pulled up in her driveway, two teenage thugs with handguns bolted from a trailing vehicle. Waving a pistol in her face, they forced her out onto the sidewalk. While she stood dumbfounded, it became rapidly apparent that neither of the Young Dillinger Fan Club knew how to drive a stick shift.

After grinding the gears, popping the clutch, stalling the engine and cursing a lot, they shamefacedly bailed out of the lady's ride, got back in their own car - probably stolen as well, since they were going to leave it at the scene - and tootled away. Now before you out there start laughing, just consider what a blow this is to those lads' self-esteem. Besides, how are they ever going to learn to drive using a manual transmission if they can't even car-jack one? Shame on you.

She'll Furnish Her Own Rifle, Too

Gyda Kaland says she's ready to serve her country even if she can't keep up with the younger troops on a forced march. She'll just drive her tractor to the front lines.

Gyda recently received orders from the Norwegian Army to report to Utne, near Bergen on the west coast, if the country goes to war. It seems Gyda got on the army's mobilization list when she bought a new farm tractor last year. Owners of equipment, potentially valuable in a conflict, are routinely notified of their military responsibilities and given directions for reporting in the event of hostilities. They're expected to bring small arms and big machines. Gyda couldn't help wondering, though, if they realized she's 98 years old.

"I'll be there if they need me," she told the Bergen's Tidene newspaper, adding, "(But) I'm not quite as frisky as I used to be."

It's Out Of Here! Hello, Doctor!

Nick George Montos made the FBI's "Most Wanted" list twice, and a head-trip into the left-field bleachers once. We don't think he wants to try either again. Nick made history years ago when the lifetime stickup artist became the first man ever to be named on the nation's "Ten Most Wanted" list for a second time. When the 78-year old finally got out of prison again, he really wasn't expected to hit the robbery route like a frisky 65-year old.

But all too soon, Nick found his way into the Boston antique shop of 73-year old Sonia Paine, pulled a gun on the sweet little granny and told her he'd blow her head off if she didn't cooperate. Nick tied her up and gleefully began his search for loot. Nick was too busy to notice Sonia wriggling free, nor when she tripped a silent alarm, nor even when she crept up behind him with an aluminum baseball bat - until it was too late.

Sonia's first swing was an in-the-park triple, smacking Nick to his knees. Just as the cops crashed in, the 73-year old granny wound up, got her shoulders into it and belted 78-year old Nicky-boy right into the cheap seats, putting out his lights for the rest of the feature.

Sonia suffered scrapes in the struggle, but it was Nick wearing bandages on his head and wrist the next day in court.

"I don't take any crap from anybody," Sonia stated. We believe her.

Stupidest - Or Boldest - Crook Of The Month

It's rare, but it has happened that a defendant goes into court facing one drug charge and comes away with two. It's even rarer when the first charge is a misdemeanor and the second one is a felony. We think Maryann Kleschinski has set some kind of record, in that her second charge was totally unrelated to the first one.