Larceny in the lab: how to control time theft

Medical Laboratory Observer, Sept, 1984 by William O. Umiker

"There's a thief among us." The word spread like wildfire through the laboratory. Mary lost a wallet containing $20; Bob's pocket calculator disappeared; others soon reported valuables and small amounts of money missing--and a serenr organization quickly turned into a jumpy, guarded garrison. Hospital security dusted a purse with finger-staining powder, then left it out in the open, but the thief didn't take the bait. Supervisors wanted employees to secure their lockers and keep valuables under observation.

Such episodes are jarring. So are the occasional disappearances of microscopes, scales, stop-watches, and other laboratory equipment. Even the tiniest theft can disturb us. Our laboratory once had a paper clip caper: No matter how fast we kept replacing the clips, they disappeared again. Why anyone wanted to steal them and why the urge suddenly stopped mystifies us to this day.

Add it all up and sneak laboratory thieves annually spirit away loot worth many thousands of dollars. Yet they are pikers! A more widespread and costly form of larceny goes on largely unnoticed right under our noses; time thefts by employees. There's no hue and cry; it's often the perfect crime.

One nationwide study estimated that time thefts cost U.S. employers more than $137 billion last year. The most common kinds cited in the study were habitual late arrivals and early departures, constant socializing with fellow employees, excessive personal telephone calls, and feigning illness to take days off.

Thus, Mary (whose wallet was stolen in the lab) usually gets to work at 8:10 instead of 8 a.m., and leaves five to 10 minutes early at the end of the day. She almost always takes long lunches and breaks. It amounts to 30 minutes wasted per day or 2-1/2 hours per week. At a 59 hourly wage rate, Mary accepts $22.50 a week in pay for which she has provided no service. A thief can rip her off for $20 every week and she'll still come out ahead.

By the same system of accounting, Bob can afford to lose a year's supply of pocket calculators and stopwatches. His time theft totals $320 annually--four sick days, taken one at a time, usually on a Monday or a Friday. His laboratory co-workers know that he's really slipping out of town on prearranged long week-ends with his latest girlfriend.

Time thefts fall into three general categories. In the first, an employee is not at work, but should be. This category includes tardiness, early depatures, abuses of sick leave, and slipping off on brief shopping trips or other personal business.

For example, Roy has gotten into the habit of oversleeping in the morning and tiptoeing in late for work. Also habitual is his wife's swing by the laboratory on the way home from work to pick up Roy before quitting time.

Alice calls in sick every so often to see her stockbroker. Her securities portfolio is paying off, but the hospital's investment in Alice is a losing proposition.

Carl frequently works on special projects that take him out of the laboratory. With no one checking up on his time, he feels free on occasion to catch a sale at some store or other in town.

The second category of time theft involves employees who are on the premises, but not at their work stations. They may linger through extended meal or coffee breaks, wander off to the hospital gift shop, visit sick friends in the wards, or socialize with cronies in other departments.

Janet, a phlebotomist who has a small farm, used to bring in eggs to sell to co-workers in the lab. This wasted virtually no time at all. But now she has branched out and is selling eggs all over the hospital, at the expense of her work.

Let's not confuse time thieves like Janet with those who collect for flowers for sick employees, or sell tickets to the hospital fair, or solicit for charity. These activities deliver social and financial benefits to the hospital and its employees. Nor do we need to worry about Girl Scout cookies or chances on the Junior Chamber of Commerce turkey raffle. Such sales occur only once a year.

Among other employees who stray from the bench, consider Jack, the laboratory gossip. He volunteers for messenger duties just to collect tidbits from other departments.

Ethel camps at a pay telephone on long afternoon chats with her father (he calls her back after the dime runs out). On an office phone line is Barry, a divorced technician whose two sons call every day when they arrive home from school. Unfortunately, these latchkey children don't get along, and Barry spends 15 to 20 minutes talking to one, then the other, trying to iron out the dispute of the day. After he hangs up, Barry reviews his family problems with whomevr will listen or sits motionless at the bench, unable to concentrate because he is worrying about his boys.

The third category of time theft finds emplolyees at their work station but not at work. They might be writting a letter, balancing their checkbook, reading a paperback novel, day dreaming, or mindlessly shuffling papers.