Bonjour, America

Wines & Vines, Oct, 1995 by Toby Smollet

Arriving in San Francisco in early September after a long flight from Australia, I had left my Aussie wine trade pals in an uproar over the French nuclear tests in the South Pacific and expected to find the same reaction in California.

I was, however, surprised to find Californians rather apathetic about the tests and about a possible boycott of French wine. That is hard to understand, from either a moral or strictly business point of view.

It is to be expected that the Australians would be upset, from the people in the wine trade to the top levels of government. After all, the tests are rather in Australia's bailiwick. But the Australian outrage was equaled by the reaction back in my old hometown, London.

I left the U.K. before the famous television commercial was first aired. That's the one with a rifle-bearing assassin drawing a bead on French leader Chirac, only to shoot a bottle of Bordeaux out of his hand. At that point, the message appears on the screen: "Boycott French Wine." One might question the good taste of that advert, but it certainly gets the message across without pussyfooting around. That commercial was shown again and again in Australia.

Since English wine is hardly a factor in international winetrade, one must assume that the English position is based on political principles, not the selfish desire to sell English Elderberry Sparkling Wine at the expense of the French. Although I would argue that that would be a perfectly acceptable motive in our market-driven society.

I understand that the South Americans, especially the Chileans, are quite pleased to take part in a French wine boycott. In fact, several large U.K. wine chains are said to be rushing major promotions of Chilean wine to the fore.

All of this makes it even more of a mystery why the famed American social/political conscience has suddenly gone brain dead. One would think Napa Cabernet producers and Central Coast Pinot noir makers would rise as one to denounce the rotten (and absurd) French tests. And by the way, here's a nice American wine and we quit doing that sort of thing years ago.

But not a peep have I heard. I spoke to a few colleagues in the wine trade and, once they understood what I was talking about, seemed amazed at the whole idea.

But perhaps the U.S. is simply slow on the uptake. Before returning to London, I did read a piece in the San Francisco Chronicle, dated Tuesday September 12 by a writer named Jon Carroll, who apparently writes a regular commentary column in the Chronicle.

Carroll gave the French tests an anti-colonial twist, which is right on the target. He writes, in part:

"Mostly, we are beginning to recover from colonialism. There's still economic exploitation, which is the 20th century version of same, but we are able to make a distinction between bang-bang-you're-dead and slam-bang-here's 19 cents.

"Except of course for France, a charming country filled with very odd people. France has decided, in that arrogance that makes any trip to Paris such a thrilling experience, that good old 18th century colonialism is still a swell idea. As in: Let's explode a big bomb in some faraway country that we "own" because we killed everyone who said we didn't.

"If a few thousand babies are deformed, well, they're Polynesian babies. It's not like they're, you know, French."

Carroll then suggests what he calls the boycott option, noting that the French economy depends heavily on exports to the U.S. "Look for the label on the gourmet specialty," he writes. "If it's made in France, put it back. I mean, as long as Italy exists, what do you need France for?"

He then goes on to the heart of his column.

"Except wine. France makes good wine; no question. California makes good wine, too, and Spain, and the aforementioned Italy, but French wine is really remarkable. So it's sacrifice time, folks. For the duration, you gotta stop going for those big reds and those juicy wines. You gotta explore alternatives.

"Wouldn't it be lovely (just thinking out loud here) if restaurants were to pull all the French wines off their wine lists? I mean, they boycotted table grapes, and the farmers in the Central Valley detonated no thermonuclear devices. We're talking about solidarity with our Polynesian brothers, the nice folks who made all your romantic vacations so special. We're talking about (oh, God, dare I say it?) just a little global consciousness.

"Wouldn't that message get back to the French farmers in a hurry? French farmers can stop their country from functioning in an eyelash; it's a known fact. Think about it."

My question for the American wine trade is: why does the suggestion of a French wine boycott come from a writer who has no connections with wine? A writer who, so I am told, doesn't even drink wine?

I believe, at this point, the French wine trade is a little worried, but there is the belief it will all go away if they just ride it out.

A U.S boycott of French wine (and cheese and bottled water and perfume and tourist centers) would soon make Mr. Chirac reexamine his nuclear options and would be a moral triumph for the California wine industry. And, dare I say it, a commercial triumph as well.