Assignment Baghdad

Air Force Comptroller, July, 2004 by Robert Dawes

Sitting uncomfortably in the cargo section of a C-130 transport as the aircraft left the runway at Baghdad International Airport last March, I felt a combination of emotions. My undeniable sense of relief grew stronger with each sharply banked turn the aircraft made as it ascended to higher and safer altitudes. I felt a disquieting combination of separation and remorse at leaving behind friends and unfinished work from the past four months in Baghdad. I sensed anticipation, looking forward to being back with my family and friends in California. Finally, I was filled with a sense of wonder at the combination of events beyond my control and a decision very much within my control that had unexpectedly moved me from curious spectator to inside participant in one of the most crucial events of the new century.

One year earlier, in March 2003, I had been eleven time zones from Baghdad and completely unaware that in eight months time the ancient city on the Tigris River would be home. Each day I heard the latest developments in the unfolding story of weapons inspections, diplomatic maneuvering, and military preparations that seemed to be leading toward war in Iraq. Like everybody else, I wondered whether the war would happen, how it would end, whether Saddam really had weapons of mass destruction, and how the Iraqis would react if Americans would suddenly be in their country. Never did it occur to me that I might be one of those Americans.

The following August, just five months after the war had started, I was sitting in a conference room in Ohio when my boss asked me, rather casually as I recall, whether I would be willing to go to Iraq to serve as Inspector General for the Coalition Provisional Authority. I immediately agreed to go, and it was not until later when I tried to explain my decision to friends and family that I was able to name my two primary motives. First, I wanted the opportunity to have a ringside seat to history as the Coalition attempted to rebuild the Iraqi economy, government and military. Second, I wanted to contribute to the attempt to reach a positive outcome to the war, one in which both Iraq and America would be better off after the war than they were before.

My desire to have a ringside seat to history was realized. I was in the center of activity in Baghdad--the Coalition headquarters in so-called Green Zone. I worked closely with the people, including Iraqis, responsible for the major programs and policies for Iraqi reconstruction. I experienced the emotional swings that came with successes and setbacks in the Coalition's efforts. Finally, I experienced the exhaustion that comes with incredibly hard work, the boredom that comes with too little diversion, the apprehension that comes from wondering when the next mortar or rocket attack will occur and the satisfaction of being able to cope with the challenges and discomforts of life in Iraq.

As to my desire to help reach a positive outcome to the war, I think it is too early to know whether this can be realized. History will judge whether the end state is better than the situation before the war and, if so, whether the improvement was worth the cost. Irrespective of the final outcome, I'll know that we all did our best, that we were working for something worthwhile, and that I wouldn't trade the experience of my assignment in Baghdad for anything!