Before the baby - research on the desire to have a child

American Demographics, Dec, 1997 by Brad Edmondson

Most couples have a talk before they have a baby. And if they disagree about whether or not to have one, they are much less likely to move from talk to action.

Research on the desire to have a baby has focused on the womans wishes, according to Elizabeth Thompson, a demographer at the University of WisconsinMadison. But the mans attitudes are equally important, according to her analysis of the National Surveys of Families and Households. Among couples who told interviewers they did not want any more children in 1988, only 13 percent had ended up having one anyway by the time interviewers returned to their homes in 1993. Of the couples who agreed they wanted a child in 1988, 67 percent had had one five years later. In cases where the man wanted a baby but the woman didnt, 32 percent had a baby. When the woman wanted one and the man didnt, 30 percent had a baby.

Husbands desires and intentions do matter, writes Thompson. Also, its clear that when couples dont agree, they shift more toward the no side. Most couples use contraception until they are actively seeking a baby, so a disagreement simply preserves the status quo.

A partner who seeks to end the argument by having a vasectomy or tubal ligation might make things worse. Sterilized couples express even greater disagreement than fertile couples about wanting a child.

Thompson analyzed the childbearing intentions and attitudes of 1,143 couples able to have children in which the woman was under age 40, neither partner had children from a previous relationship, and the woman was not pregnant in 1988. A sample of sterilized couples was analyzed separately. Couple Childbearing Desires, Intentions, and Births is in the August 1997 issue of Demography, published by the Population Association of America of Silver Spring, Maryland. Brad Edmondson