On the lighter side: Auditland

Internal Auditor, June, 2005 by J. Michael Jacka

IIA headquarters has issued the following press release:

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The IIA has always taken a proactive and innovative role in educating auditors and the public on the value of internal audit services. Today, The Institute takes a bold, new step in that direction by announcing it will become a major player in the world of theme-based amusement parks. Secret negotiations conducted over the last two years have resulted in The IIA's acquisition of more than 50,000 acres near its Orlando-area headquarters and the subsequent development of Auditland--home of the happiest review on earth. Blending state-of-the-art attractions with cutting-edge audit concepts, Auditland creates an immersive, customer-focused universe of audit experiences that will delight adults and children of all ages.

TAKE A TOUR

After passing through the adequately controlled entrance to Auditland, guests begin their journey at Main Street Auditing. A re-creation of a turn-of-the-century business district, Main Street Auditing revisits a simpler time--a gentle era when auditors had only to tic, tie, and cross-foot to do their jobs. Everybody will want to join the fun by making their first stop The Spreadsheets of Wonder Pavilion. Here the whole family can work together to diligently inspect page upon page of handwritten spreadsheets in an attempt to determine why the final balance is off by a full dollar.

At the end of Main Street is Compliance Hub. From there, paths branch off in five directions, leading to the park's separate themed areas. Each is closely linked to the world of internal auditing and jam-packed with thrilling, experience-based attractions.

LET THE ADVENTURE BEGIN

Auditing Adventureland showcases the perils and pitfalls that internal auditors face every day. Whether you take the harrowing journey through Paper Cut Tree House, dodge the threats of the Enchanted Outsourcing Room, or get stuck in Indiana Jones and the Airport of Cancelled Flights, you'll love the thrills of this wondrous land.

Auditing Adventureland's premiere attraction is the Control Jungle Cruise, where guests can enjoy an up-close look at the jungle of an uncontrolled environment. Immediately after leaving the dock, the riverboat plunges into the darkness of wild growth. In the distance, a group of accountants dance and holler as they blatantly complete their work with no separation of duties. Then, a tribe of supervisors signs expense reports without looking at the associated support. Finally, a rampaging senior vice president attacks the riverboat, forcing the captain to fire off his trusty audit charter. The vice president, realizing his defeat, quickly turns tail and runs. Guests then arrive back at the dock, having survived the horrors of an uncontrolled environment.

STAYING IN CONTROL

The audit adventure continues in Controlland--an environment where resources are never an issue and everything is perfectly controlled. The area's perimeter is surrounded by barbed wire, an electric fence, attack dogs, and guards with really bad attitudes.

Controlland has only one entrance. And once guests leave, they'll need more than a hand stamp to get back in. The passwords administered upon entering must be changed every hour. Of course, anyone who hasn't changed his or her password will get the opportunity to ride The Help Desk, an amazing re-creation of the technical support experience.

"Your visit is very important to us. We are experiencing heavier than
normal volume. Please remain in line and our next representative will
assist you shortly. If you would like to visit us on the Web, feel free
to return home and log on to www.sellyoursoulforanid.com."

Nestled deep within Controlland is the spookiest ride in all of Auditland--the Audit Mansion. From the outside, all appears well in this 19th century-style dwelling. But the minute guests walk into the first musty room, littered with eraser shavings and paper dust, they'll find themselves in the presence of unearthly audit forces. Walking through the hallways of this sinister mansion, visitors will have the feeling of being observed. No one will be able to see who the examiners are, however, until they've reached the mansion's central room. As the room stretches--yes, stretches--the lights grow stronger, revealing a group of elderly individuals overhead wearing green eyeshades and holding spreadsheets and pencils. Visitors suddenly realize this is no normal house--they're trapped inside the Auditing Retirement Home. The guests are then quickly whisked away in their own personal wheelchair to visit the retired auditors' various haunts, including the Room of Eternal Exit Interviews, the Constantly Flowing Flowcharts, the Banquet of Rubber Chicken, and the Attic of Unfunctional Functional Tests. At the ride's conclusion, a distant voice cries, "We are the home of 999 happy retired auditors. But there's always room for one more."

DISCOVER THE WORLD OF FRAUD

Fraudland, the park's third main area, appeals to the larcenist in each of us. Children especially will enjoy Fraudland's gentle dark rides, including Peter Ponzi's Flight, Mr. Kozlowski's Wild Ride, and The Many Adventures of Winnie the Tax Evader.