Body language speaks: reading and responding more effectively to hidden communication

Communication World, March-April, 2004 by Anne E. Beall

In a weekly status meeting with an employee, the director of communication observed that the employee began to gesture as he talked about a report he was preparing. He seemed to be putting things into "boxes" as he outlined various pieces of research. As the manager looked closer, she noticed that some of the areas he was gesturing to appeared disconnected. She asked him if he was having trouble figuring out how pieces of the research were connected, and he replied with amazement: "Yes, I am. How did you know?"

A manager at a large company did not attend to the body language of a new sales representative she was hiring, and her oversight became a costly mistake. When the manager gave the candidate the offer, he showed a quick expression of surprise. Because she did not want to read too much into his expression, she ignored it. Once on the job, however, the new sales rep's body language conveyed that he was often defensive in his interactions with his manager. He kept distance between them when talking, he often did not face her directly, and some of his expressions showed that he did not like her. The new hire also turned out to be a manipulative employee who liked to create chaos between staff members in the office. Before long, he proved not to be qualified for the job, which is why he showed the quick expression of surprise at the time of the initial offer. Ultimately, the company fired the sales rep, but not before he created havoc and wasted the company's valuable time and money.

OVERLOOKING THE OBVIOUS

In this fast-paced world, the spoken and written word sometimes take center stage. It's possible to become so focused on what is being said that nonverbal communication--an equally important aspect of communication--is overlooked.

Research indicates that although people may strongly attend to what is said, nonverbal behavior may constitute two-thirds or more of total communication. And although people have the option not to speak, they can never be uncommunicative nonverbally. Nonverbal signals are a rich source of information, and one's own nonverbal behavior can be useful in responding to others, making stronger connections with clients and colleagues, and conveying certain impressions about oneself.

One common misconception is that specific behaviors indicate the same thought for all people. Unfortunately, nonverbal behavior is more complex. Using a framework is the most useful way to decode others, because a combination of behaviors tells a story. One such framework is PERCEIVE[TM], which stands for

* Proximity

* Expressions

* Relative Orientation

* Contact

* Eyes

* Individual Gestures

* Voice

* Existence of Adapters.

Each aspect of the framework contributes a piece of the puzzle. Proximity and relative orientation are the building blocks. Proximity is the distance between individuals. Generally, people sit, stand and want to be near those they like. Increased proximity is an indication of feelings of liking and interest.

Relative orientation is the degree to which people face one another. A parallel orientation indicates that one is interested in and focused on the other person. As people become less interested in and less focused on another person, they tend to angle their bodies away. A good way to decode orientation is to observe where a person's feet are placed. Often people will point their feet in the direction they truly want to go.

Expressions are observed on the face and can last as little as 1/15 of a second. These very brief expressions are called micro-expressions, and they occur when people are trying to hide a feeling. Interestingly, when people begin to experience an emotion, their facial muscles are triggered. If they suppress the expression, it's shown for only 1/15 of a second. If they do not suppress it, the expression will appear prominently. The six universal expressions that all cultures recognize are happiness, sadness, anger, fear, surprise and disgust.

Contact refers to physical contact. Generally, the amount and frequency of physical contact demonstrate closeness, familiarity and degree of liking. A lot of touching indicates strong liking for another person.

Eyes primarily show whom or what people are most interested in or like. One can gauge liking and interest by the frequency, duration and total amount of time spent looking.

Individual gestures can indicate an image in a person's mind that is sometimes not communicated with spoken language. Some typical gestures are ones in which people indicate what refers to them and what refers to others (e.g., the hands come near the body or motion away), gestures that describe an emotion or experience (e.g., sobbing gesture or frenetic moving of the hands) or gestures that identify where objects are in relation to one another. Gestures can provide information about how things are organized in a person's mind. They can also reveal how people are feeling, People tend to gesture more when they are enthusiastic, excited and energized. People gesture less when they are demoralized, nervous or concerned about the impression they are making.