Mastering the Business Meal

Training & Development, March, 2001 by Dana May Casperson

What you order, how you eat, and what you discuss demonstrate your courtesy, poise, and respect for others.

Your mother was right: Table manners do count. More than half of all business deals are finalized over a meal, and a higher percentage of business discussion in general occurs while out to lunch or dinner. Business meals are often used to conduct job interviews, get to know a client or consultant, network with a colleague, or sign a contract.

Your professional polish is on display. What you order, how you eat, and what you discuss demonstrate your courtesy, poise, and respect for others, so never assume people won't notice or will tolerate poor manners.

Dos and don'ts

Have you ever had a lunch or dinner meeting with a business associate whose manners were objectionable? Perhaps she pulled out a mirror to fix her makeup at the table, or he failed to cover his mouth while coughing.

Such rudeness can destroy a colleague's impression, not to mention kill a deal. Here are some practical suggestions to avoid shooting oneself in the foot at the table.

Avoid talking with food in your mouth. Sounds like common sense, but the temptation can be great, especially if you have a lot of ground to cover in a short amount of time. Swallow before speaking, and remember what Mom said: Chew with your mouth closed.

Give your dining companion your full attention. Avoid flitting from table to table to greet other people. Instead, smile or wave and return to the conversation. It's not only rude to leave your guest or host to chat with others, but it also interrupts the flow of conversation.

Turn off your cell phone. This sends a message to your dining companions that the meeting at hand is your top priority. Keep your cell phone in your purse or briefcase. If you must make a call, excuse yourself from the table.

Keep absences brief. Don't keep your dining companions waiting for more than a few minutes. Before you get up from the table say. "Please excuse me for a moment."

Steer clear of inappropriate discussions. Don't complain or gossip about others, use profanity, tell inappropriate jokes, or reveal any information that's too personal.

Don't interrupt. Remain polite, no matter how heated the conversation becomes. Don't finish your dining companion's sentences.

Avoid alcoholic beverages. Unless your business associate works in the food and wine industry, drinking liquor during a business meal isn't appropriate. Most companies frown on midday drinking.

Avoid messy foods. If your food is all over your fingers and face, you're likely to disgust everyone at the table. It's best not to order stringy pasta dishes, corn on the cob, slippery seafood dishes, or greasy or juicy meats such as fried chicken and spare ribs.

Choosing the meal

Different meals are suited for different meeting agendas. Let's look at the benefits of each of the following types of business meals.

Breakfast meetings. These usually begin at 6 or 7 a.m., leaving the rest of the day free to complete additional business. These meetings can be brief, usually less than an hour, and they offer few distractions because they begin before most people are at work.

Lunch meetings. These can begin from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. and last two to three hours. Often casual, midday business meals allow you to prepare for them in the morning and still have the afternoon free for follow-up.

Afternoon teas. These can be a creative, fun alternative to the standard business meal. Most hotels serve tea anytime from 2 to 5:30 p.m. Teas can be casual or formal, depending on the hotel.

Power tea, which usually occurs after 3 p.m., begins late enough to conclude the workday. Shorter than lunch meetings, a power tea usually lasts one to two hours. Tea-time meetings can be less expensive than lunches. If you include sandwiches or hors d'oeuvres, a power tea can even be an early dinner.

Dinner meetings. These are perhaps the longest business meals and can continue as late as 11 p.m. They're generally formal and may require dressy attire. One benefit of dinner meetings is that they can include spouses or significant others, which makes them more festive.

The hospitable host

The host is the person who invites the other dining companions to the meal. When you host a business meal, it's your responsibility to lead the meeting and take care of all the details that will make your guests feel welcome.

Here's how.

1. Personally extend the invitation at least three days in advance. Be specific about the reason for the meeting.

2. Make the restaurant reservation. Confirm the date and time with your guests in advance. Be clear about where to meet--for example, in the foyer or at the table.

3. Make payment arrangements before being seated. Leave your credit card with the maitre d'. You can sign for the bill on your way out, eliminating any confusion over who should pay.

4. Arrive early to select the table and greet your guests. Choose a welllit table far from the kitchen. Sit with your back to the wall so you can easily summon your server. Stand when your guests arrive, and shake hands with each of them.