Building Better Human Connections: Parenting/Caring Education for Children and Teens in School

Childhood Education, Winter 2003/2004 by McDermott, Dana R

With today's focus on academics, many teachers believe they have little time to focus on affective education. Indeed, many educators warn us that rather than no child being left behind, "no child may be left whole" (Merrow, 2002). Brazelton and Greenspan (2000) see human development literacy as being more important to children than math and science, however, and advocate teaching parenting skills as an excellent way to accomplish this learning.

Teaching students parenting skills has a great deal of support (Eisler, 2000; Zero to Three, 1992; Zigler, 1999), because it addresses children's immediate social and emotional needs while also laying the groundwork for a more socially and emotionally fit next generation. Empirical evidence demonstrates that parenting education also is associated with improvements in students' caring and social-emotional skills in the classroom (Gulkas, 1994; Masterpaqua, 1992). Comer (2001) reminds us:

Given the purpose of education-to prepare students to become successful workers, family members, and citizens in a democratic society-even many "good" traditional schools, as measured by high test scores, are not doing their job adequately. . . . A good education should help students to solve problems encountered at work and in personal relationships, to take on the responsibility of caring for themselves and their families, to get along well in a variety of life settings, and to be motivated, contributing members of a democratic society. Such learning requires conditions that promote positive child and youth development. (p. 1)

Indeed, as Bronfenbrenner (1979) wrote decades ago, "No society can long sustain itself unless its members have learned the sensitivities, the motivations, and [the] skills involved in assisting and caring for other human beings" (p. 53). However, schools today focus more on competition than on care. Tests compare one student's performance to those of other students. Even with all the money spent on education, and despite teachers' heroic efforts, the academic performance of students in the United States has not shown great improvement (Levine & Weins, 2003). Some point to students' circumstances (e.g., poverty, violence, parents with limited parenting skills) as the stumbling block. Others believe children will not succeed academically unless there is a caring environment for learning both at home and school, and unless what they learn is meaningful to them (Kohn, 1991, 1999).

The Parenting Project (TPP), a grassroots organization founded by parents, educators, and citizens in the public and private sectors, has identified programs that teach children how to be caring students today and caring parents tomorrow. This national organization promotes parenting education as a way for schools to develop whole students who are successful intellectually, personally, socially, and emotionally. This program strives to teach students caring skills that are crucial in today's world (Eisler, 2002) and that will help them support their own children as they learn and grow. Their children will be in a better position to learn in school, thereby helping future teachers to do their work.

To those who question the wisdom of having children participate in parenting education, Eisler (2000) responds:

Certainly, parenting classes for adults are important. But the adults who need them the most, are often the least likely to take them. So this schooling has to start much earlier, not only through a partnership process (which makes it possible for all children to experience real one-to-one caring from their teachers) but also through the opportunity to experience the giving of caring themselves. This experiential learning of caring and care-giving behaviors as part of the school curriculum is important for all children, but it is essential for neglected and abused children as well as for children who, in their homes, have learned to associate caring with fear, coercion, and violence. (pp. 232-233)

Thus, effective parenting/caring enhances children's potential for healthy human relationships. In learning about parenting, students grow to understand that "nurturing emotional relationships are the most crucial primary foundation for both intellectual and social growth" (Brazelton & Greenspan, 2000, pp. 2-3). Brazelton and Greenspan further note that:

it's this early reciprocal dialogue with emotional cueing, rather than any cognitive stimulation like flash cards, that leads to the growth of the mind and the brain and the capacities to reason and think. Both emotional and intellectual development depend on rich, deep, nurturing relationships early in life, and now continuing neuroscience research is confirming this process. (p. 9)

All future parents must get this information. For many, observing it firsthand enhances their learning greatly.

What Do Children Learn?

In learning to understand the needs and feelings that infants and parents experience, students learn about their own needs and feelings and those of others in their lives. Focusing on others while also pursuing self-awareness, as many parenting programs encourage students to do, can be a more effective way to enhance social-emotional learning than studying virtues in the abstract.